High School Drama and Relationships

Heads up!

Give me my ball back, bitch.

You know, Stan, I feel sorry for you.

You don't know me.

Oh, but I do, all too well.

You're the man,

captain of the basketball team, dates the pretty girls.

High school is your kingdom.

But people,

Stan's a bully.

Why?

It'd be way too easy to say Stan preys on the weak simply because he's a

dick.

No, no, no.

Stan here

is much more complex than that.

See, according to leading psychiatrists,

Stan's a bully for one of three reasons.

One,

underneath all that male bravado, there's an insecure little girl just

banging on the closet door trying to get out.

Two,

like a caveman,

Stan's brain is

underdeveloped.

Therefore, Stan is unable to use self-control,

and so he acts out aggressively.

And the third reason,

Stan has a small wiener.

Oh.

Take one and pass it down.

I have needs.

You don't need these?

Stan, give one to Mark.

No. No, you know what? He's right. He's right. I don't need one.

You know why? You know why I don't need one?

Because there's no one that I'm in love with.

It's called making love, isn't it?

I, maybe I'm old-fashioned, but I, I think that means

that you do it with someone

you love

and preferably when you're married.

You know, when you're ready to take that love and turn it into

a baby because that's what love is.

It's, it's that first moment when you hold your baby girl

and you didn't know that anything could be so small

or so delicate, and, and you feel that tiny heartbeat, and you know

that you couldn't love anything more in the whole world.

And you hope that you can do right by that little girl, and always be there

to catch her when she falls, and that nothing ever hurts her, not a

broken arm, or a bad dream, or

a broken heart.

I don't even want these. Just take them.

Are you serious?

Take them.

Great. Fine. Wonderful. More for me.

Now I got enough for the whole weekend.

Oh.

Stan! Boys! Stop it! Break it up. Get off him, Stan.

Put the

phones away.

I've got a letter from Mike O'Donnell. He's the husband in this case.

No, I'm sorry-

Mike-

But we're in the middle of-

Your Honor, if it's okay, I'd like to hear the letter, please.

Thank you, Your Honor. This is a letter from Mike O'Donnell.

"Scarlett,

before you go through with this,

I want to remind you of September 7th, 1988.

It was the first time that I saw you. You were reading Less Than Zero.

You were wearing a Guns N' Roses T-shirt.

I'd never seen anything so perfect.

I remember thinking that I, I had to have you or I'd die.

Then you whispered that you loved me

at the homecoming dance,

and I felt

so peaceful

and safe because I knew that no matter what happened from

that day on,

nothing could ever be that bad

because I had you. And then I grew up and, and, uh, I lost my

way,

and I blamed you for my failures. And I know that you think you have to do

this

today.

I don't want you to, but I guess,

if I love you,

I should let you move on."

All right, son. You need to go now.

Once I wanted to be the

great

nowhere.

Let's proceed.

Fall through the star.

I'm sorry, Your Honor. Would it be okay if we postpone this for now for just a

little while?

Would that be okay?