Legal Drama and Settlement Negotiation

Hey!

Now, if you don't wanna give me no change, that's fine, but how about the courtesy

of a response?

You want a response?

Oh.

Denny, what the hell are you-

Relax, paintball.

Denny Crane.

Denny Crane?

Denny Crane.

You shot me.

I did.

You the big lawyer?

I am.

What's going on?

I could take you to court for assault, man.

Sue me.

But I'm willing to settle. Now, give me $100,000.

Seems a little high. How about zip? Does zip work for you?

I may be homeless, but I ain't stupid.

My mistake.

I'll be back.

He's back?

In the conference room with a lawyer. You, kid.

Yes, sir.

Fix my tie.

Get in the conference room. Sit there quietly.

Pretend you know something.

You, you know my name?

Yes, sir.

Maybe one day I'll know yours. In the conference room with the goober.

No talking.

Denny, why don't I join you?

Why not? Show of force. Oh, Paul.

Shirley.

Join me in the conference room for a second, will you? It won't take long.

What's going on?

Please.

Who the hell are you?

My name's Warren Peters, sir, and I represent my client, Randall Kirk.

You work for a firm, Warren?

Well, actually, I'm a solo practitioner.

Gee. As you can see, I'm not. I work for a firm, one of the largest in

Boston, dripping with talent. This is, uh, Paul Lewiston, and right here beside

him, Shirley Schmidt. Heard of them?

Yes.

What's my name?

Uh, Denny Crane.

I realize you're a powerful man, sir, but that does not give you the right to

shoot

homeless people.

You, you shot this man?

A paintball.

It happens. Your client tell you that he first hit me

on the head with a rock?

No, he tossed a stone in your direction, which inadvertently struck you.

Well, obviously, I'm not gonna pay, son.

So you can spend the next three years of your life in discovery trying to push this

case to court, at which point I'll call a clerk

and have it assigned to a friend of

mine. I'm friends with lots of judges.

Or you can cut your losses now. You might wanna think about this.

No other lawyer would take the case.

The reason they wouldn't take it is 'cause it's a money loser.

It's what we call a dog. You like dog cases, kid?

I'm not intimidated.

Of course you are.

Here's what you need to know about the practice of law, son.

It all comes down to money. I've got it. He doesn't. I'll win.

Denny Crane.

My lawyer dropped me.

Bugger.

If you think you won-

I do

... I'll find another one.

No, you won't. No way is you gonna make any money suing Denny

Crane with a client

who initiated the conflict by throwing a rock.

But hey, if you can find another shark like the

last one, you know where to find

me. Only don't come in personally, okay, sport?

I'll file a complaint for stalking.

Mr. Kirk,

I'll represent you.

This a joke?

Of course it is.

No, it isn't. I'll be your lawyer.

I'm confused.

You're right, Denny, no other lawyer will take his case,

so it's going to be me.

Denny.

Get out.

Why are you being such a bully? Your insurance company will undoubtedly

pay.

That's not the point.

You shot the man with a gun between the eyes. You could have blinded him.

You perhaps could have killed him. He deserves to be compensated.

Well, he's not gonna be. You wanna take me to court?

I certainly don't wanna go to court.

Denny, I looked at that man, an indigent,

sitting across from a room full of us, Shirley,

Paul, you, me, the rich. You know,

we've got 37 million people in this country living below the poverty line,

13% of the American population. They don't get education.

They don't get health insurance. For God's sake,

they don't even get rescued when

they're dying. I just, I feel compelled to help him.

You must understand that.

Helping the poor,

yes. Helping him get me, no.

It's made the news. It's out there that a senior partner of Crane, Poole, and

Schmidt assaulted a homeless man.

You have nothing to say?

You heard what I said. Whatever.

That's it.

That's your response.

Want a response? Watch it like everybody else.

What do you mean watch it like everyone else?

I'm going back on Larry King tonight.

What?

You saw me the last time. I popped.

First of all,

the last time you at least victimized a despicable person.

This time-

Paul, the people wanna hear from me.

Denny, this could be a disa-

Mm-hmm.

Keep him here.

This is the general release. You'll need to sign

there and initial there.

Okay.

And initial

here next to the confidentiality clause.

Okay.

And that should do it.

Here's the best part, your check.

Oh, my God.

$75,000. Man, I ain't never seen this much money at

once.

Mr. Kirk, I won't be so arrogant as to give you a

life lecture, but however you

came into your dire straits, I hope you use this money productively.

Oh, oh, don't you worry. Don't you worry about that.

Don't you worry.

Oh, oh, oh, hold on, hold on, hold on. Th- this check came from you.

It's an accounting thing.

But it's a personal check from you. Why?

It's really of no concern.

I wanna know why.

You deserve that settlement. I'm fortunate enough to be able to part

with it.

The truth is, I can afford to value other things more

than money, one such

item being my friendship with Denny Crane.

But why'd you represent me if you knew-

I suppose I thought I could prioritize principle over that friendship, but the

reality is I can't,

which means you either accept this check from me or you get yourself another lawyer