Making Bread with Controversial Ingredients

These are what's considered bread in America,

and today we're gonna make it from

scratch at home. First, we're gonna need glyphosate,

a synthetic herbicide we're

gonna spray on the wheat to help it dry faster and make it easier to harvest.

Grind it up and add synthetic vitamins because the real ones are gone.

And of course, we gotta get the color right,

so we're gonna suit up and blast it

with chlorine gas to make it nice and white.

And when you see enriched wheat flour on the label, this is basically what it is.

Now to make it into bread, we're gonna take this yoga mat,

mix it with toluene

or petroleum-derived solvent to isolate the

azodicarbonamide, a dough conditioner that's gonna help make

it nice and

fluffy. Now for our other ingredients, high fructose corn syrup, soybean oil,

mono

and diglycerides, calcium peroxide, calcium propionate, and potassium

bromate, even though it's banned in Europe, Canada,

even China because it's linked

to cancer, but we're only gonna add a little bit,

so it should be fine.

Add a splash of water, mix, shape, bake, and that's basically your

made-in-the-USA bread. Send this to a friend who still think

bread is

just flour and water. And let me know, would you eat this crap?