Humorous Phone Call Mix-Up

I have a question.

Your cell phone rings and you don't recognize the number, what do you do?

Ignore it. Ignore it. Don't answer it.

Not me. I like life.

The other day my cell phone rang 9-1-7.

That's a New York number. I didn't know who it was.

I picked it up anyway. I hit talk.

I said, hello.

Guy in the line goes, hey Bruce, what's going on?

My name's Jay, not Bruce.

So I said, nothing much man, what's going on with you?

And he said, I'll tell you what's going on.

I just got an email about the budget.

It's supposed to be $15,000. Now it's $10,000 and I'd like to know what's up.

I got excited in my chest.

I grabbed the steering wheel.

I was like, okay, focus. Your name is Bruce.

There's a budget. It was $15,000. Now it's $10,000.

No one's happy about it.

That's all we know. That's all we know.

So I just repeated back to him what he said to me

and I go, $10,000? It's supposed to be $15,000.

He goes, yeah, I know. Well, I just got an email and now it's 10.

I go, listen, man, I don't know what to tell you.

I've been on the road all day. You know, I haven't even seen it.

And he goes, did you send this out?

I've given some attitude to

Bruce. I didn't like it.

I said, listen, man, the budget was $15,000.

We had a couple extra expenditures. It went up to $16,200.

I reworked it, got it down to $14,700. I had $300 to play with.

So I called it $15,000 and I sent it out.

And he goes, yeah, well now it's $10,000, man.

And I was like, oh my God, that worked. That worked.

Phase one complete. Phase one complete.

Like now I'm in the door. I have a 401k.

I was at the Christmas party, okay?

So he goes, did Larry okay this?

I go, listen, man, I took the budget to Larry.

Larry said it looked fine. But I knew it was my ass on the line, so I ran it by Jennifer just in case, just to double check.

Jennifer said it looked good. I sent it out.

He goes, yeah, well now it's $10,000, man. And I realized this guy has no idea what's going on over there.

He hasn't talked to Larry. I know he hasn't talked to Bruce. He doesn't even recognize my voice.

I know he didn't talk to Jennifer. I just made her up.

So he goes, listen, man, what are we going to do about this?

And I go, listen, I'm on the road right now. I haven't even seen the email.

Why don't you give Larry a call, check in with him, see what he says, call me back. Just praying he will,

because that return phone call was going to be amazing.

And he goes, you know what? Why don't we till you get home, you check the email, you call Larry, you call me back.

And I go, nah, nah, bro.

Larry knows way more about this than I do. Give him a call, call me back.

He goes, okay,

hangs up the phone.

To which I explode with euphoria.

Because there's a small business in New York that is crumbling to the ground.

Over five grand, and nobody can find Jennifer.

They're looking,

they're looking.

I get home, I'm so excited, I take out my cell phone. I'm like, you know what, I'm going to save that guy's number.

Give him a call in a couple of days, touch base, you know what I mean, check in.

See where we're at, you know.

So I save it in my phone under random guy. That's what he is, he's a random guy.

Four or five days pass, I forget about it.

Laying on my couch, watching the ball game, phone rings in the dining room table.

I get up, watching the game, grab the phone, watching the game, look down,

random guy.

But it's been a couple days, you know what I mean, so I'm like, random guy?

Who's random guy? Like, who would even have random guy as their name that comes up?

And then I was like, random guy!

Like, now I'm panicked, you know what I mean?

People's lives have been affected.

It's only five grand, but I don't know how big that company is.

But I'm addicted to it, you know what I mean?

I started this thing, I need to see it through.

So I put my earbuds in, just get a little distance,

you know, just get a little space.

And I hit talk.

Same guy goes, hey Larry, what's going on?

Yeah, now he's calling me Larry. He knows something's up,

but I'm not about to back down. I go, nothing much man, what's going on with you?

And he goes, well, I got us on conference call with Janelle and Marie.

And I was like, okay, here we go, here we go.

This is why we play the game, you guys.

This is why we play the game.

So I go,

welcome to the call, ladies.

As if to say, welcome to the show, you know what I mean? Here we go.

Marie takes the lead. She goes, hey Larry, what time is it where you are?

I live in LA, they're in New York, it's 5.30.

So I go, 8.30, it's 8.30. She

goes, really, what's the weather like? And I was like, oh, weather's nice, weather's nice.

She goes, you know, this doesn't sound like Larry.

And I go, oh yeah, who's it sound like?

And a random guy chirps him from the back and he goes, sounds like Bruce, sounds like Bruce.

Like he's gonna blow this case wide open.

And I go, listen guys, this isn't Larry and it isn't Bruce.

And Marie goes, who is this?

I said, I'm just some guy who had nothing better to do than to mess with you guys.

And Marie got pissed, she was not happy.

She goes, you understand we're trying to run a business over here?

And I was like, yeah, well, I got that from the budget.

I just figured it was a business.

And she goes, what do you think, this is some kind of joke?

And I was like, a little bit, thought it was pretty funny.

And she goes, let me ask you something.

And I go, no, you let me ask you something.

And she goes, what?

And I go,

where we at with the budget?