Satirical Discussion on Religious Texts

All right, man. I gotta tell you something.

This whole Allah told me thing is blowing up,

but you're gonna have to put all of

it in a book if you want anyone to take you seriously.

Yeah, I thought about it, but I've got zero inspiration for

that kind of thing.

Or I could just make a list, like the Ten Commandments from

that Jewish guy who

split the sea in half. Holy shit! I got it. Come with me.

One Bible and one Torah, please.

Wait, bro. You're gonna get busted. Relax. We're just gonna remix this.

They won't see a thing.

All right, so for now, we keep circumcision.

We keep no pork. We keep hell. We keep

love your neighbor. Yeah, we're throwing that out.

I like a good fight. Right.

You just prefer sending other people to fight for you. Shut up.

Oh, and we're gonna need a holy day, too.

Yeah, but Saturday and Sunday are already taken. We'll take Friday.

Oh, and add something so that in an inheritance,

women get less than men.

My dad's about to kick the bucket, and I don't want my sister keeping half.