Family Dinner and Doctor Decisions

Isn't that beautiful?

I'd really rather have bologna.

Bologna?

That's a feast fit for a king.

Then give it to the king and get me some bologna.

Mike, he's sick and irritable. If he wants bologna, then-

Okay, okay.

I'll get it.

Bologna.

Peter,

there you go. Bobby.

Hey, Mom, whatever happened to ladies first?

Oh, uh, be right there. We came to this room first.

Broccoli, yuck.

Here we go.

Oh, I'm starved.

Me too.

Here you are, sweetheart.

Here, let me help you.

How come I always get peanut butter and jelly sandwiches?

Because you love them.

Oh, yeah, I keep forgetting.

And last but not least.

Where's the gravy?

Oh, the gravy, I forgot. Gravy coming up.

Oh, we forgot the gravy for Jan's food. She likes everything all mushed together.

Mushed?

Oh.

Peter and Bobby want mustard.

Oh, goodness, all this up and down stairs.

I'd have to pay a gym $100 for this much exercise.

Hmm,

now Jan had chicken pox,

and, uh,

Marsha

and Cindy had mumps.

There.

Well, whichever doctor we choose, at least we'll have all the information on

all

the kids.

Oh, except for poison oak.

Now I know that none of the boys had it.

Well, none of the girls had poison oak either.

Okay, scratch poison oak.

Greetings. How are things in Brady General Hospital?

Well, we're, uh, still featuring measles. Take a look.

What's this, some kind of wall-to-wall Scrabble?

Hey, it's a marvelous new idea, but we sure could use your help.

What illnesses, diseases do you recall?

The doctors have kept records that they can transfer from one to the

other.

Uh, besides, this is wrong. Now none of the kids have had the shots

for distemper.

That's Tiger's column.

I figured I might as well keep a record for the vet.

Greg.

Well, it's time for the kids' ice cream sundaes.

Ice cream sundaes? It's almost dinner.

That's Marsha. She's afraid we didn't hear Greg.

Oh,

kids. Because they have a few dots on their

faces they think they can order

everybody around. I think they're taking advantage now.

I've got to do something about this memory of mine. Mr.

Brady, who was it that had the flu last year

that had to have one hot buttered rum

after another- ... in addition to crossword puzzles,

magnetic solitaire game, dartboard, and a pair

of nails, twisted nails that had to be untwisted?

Oh, now that's enough.

Which he never could get untwisted.

That was a very difficult puzzle.

Mike?

Hmm.

You know, we almost had a very foolish argument last

night.

About the doctors.

Well, look, we're both mature adults with a reasonable

amount of intelligence,

right?

Well, I think this business of deciding upon a

doctor should be handled on a very

logical, reasonable, intelligent level.

Well, I couldn't agree more. What do you suggest?

Let's toss a coin.

That's beautiful. You happen to have one with you? I mean,

both sides the same?

Oh, look, Mike, I'm serious. They're both fine doctors,

and we know that whichever

one we choose the children are gonna have the very best-

Wait a minute, the children.

The children are the ones who are sick, right?

Right.

Well, they've met both of the doctors.

Let's let them make the choice.

But girls, you can't avoid it.

Listen, there's going to come a time when d-

when you're gonna have to use a doctor

that's a man.

Look, what if you were on a sinking ship and it

was going down for the third time,

and, and you developed a bad cold and, and the only doctor available was

the ship's doctor who happened to be a man.

Well, then what would you do?

Drown!

Drown!

Girls, there's no difference between a woman

doctor and a man doctor.

But Dad,

you're the one who told us about the birds and the bees.

You got nowhere with the girls, huh?

Nope. Same progress with the boys?

Yep.

Doctors, doctors.

Carol,

you have your own doctor, right?

Right.

You have your doctor, I have my doctor.

Suppose I said to you, "From now on, you have to use my doctor," what would you

say

to me?

Now, Mike, let's not go into that.

Exactly, and that's just the way I would react.

We haven't switched to one doctor just because we got married.

That's true. Then why should the kids switch doctors?

How about that? I'm a genius.

If you're such a genius, how come you didn't think of it yesterday?

Then what do you call a slow genius?

Well, we'll just have two doctors.

Yeah, one for the boys and one for the girls, simple.

That must be a member of our medical staff.

I wonder whose, yours or mine?

Oh, good evening.

Hi, good evening.

Dr. Cameron's here too.

Good.

Ah.

How are the children?

Oh, they're getting on just fine.

Good. We thought before you went upstairs to see

the children we'd like to talk to

you for a minute.

Well, of course.

Um, Mike and I have, uh, finally reached a decision.

Some families have two cars. Some families have two phones.

Why not two doctors?

Why not?

Fine with us.

Uh, by the way, if you call my office and a man answers, don't hang

up. It'll be him.

Dr. Cameron?

Well, yes, since Dr. Porter and I met here,

we've been complaining to each other

about our long hours and the workload and the, well, the

problems of not having a, a, a, an associate.

And so we've decided to combine our practice.

Well, congratulations.

Hey, that's wonderful.

Uh, how long have you had that red spot on your cheek?

What red spot?

Dr. Porter.

The one on your chin.

Oh, no. Don't tell me he's got the measles.

Of course, we can't be sure until he's had an

examination.

Well, we're practicing together now. Which one of us do you want?

Well, I think in order to prove a point to the

boys that I-

Ah, never mind

... should be the one.

Right.

Dr. Cameron, he's all yours.

He's all yours.

Measles, measles,

measles. Well, all the kids have now had the measles.

So have I.

Well, I had them years ago. Looks like the Bradys

are finished with the measles.

Hold it.

You're not through yet.

Alice, don't tell me you're coming down with the

measles.

Oh, I hope so. I'd hate to think I was just learning how to blush at my age.

Alice.