Interview with the President on Major Decisions

Thank you for joining us, Mr. President.

This was a major decision. What was going through your mind when you made it?

-"Bing, bing, bong, bong, bing, bing, bing."

-$1.5 million. $1.5 million. $1.5 million. $1.5 million. $1.5 million. $1.5 million. $1.5 million.

What do you want to destroy the most?

The Epstein files. Okay, I understand. Yeah, I understand. I agree.

Now... Hello!

Real quick, did you get permission from Congress for the attack?

No, no, no, no, no. Okay, yeah.

And do you still think you deserve a Nobel Peace Prize?

Oh, yes, yes, yes.

Now, going forward, who do you want to put in charge of Iran?

Nicki

Minaj. Yes!

I saw you ordered the attack from Mar-a-Lago.

Where do you normally give your biggest orders?

Burger King, Wendy's, and McDonald's.

No, that's not what I... That's not what...

People are wondering if you'll send in troops.

Would you say... What would you say if you ever had to go over there and fight for yourself?

Take me home, Mommy. This is too tough for me.

Okay, all right.

Now... Mr. President, what kind of message does this send to countries like Saudi Arabia and Russia?

Saudi Arabia and Russia?

We'll repeat your...

Thank you very much for your time.