Dating Game with Police Officer

Tell me your name and where you from.

I'm Itzel. I'm originally from San Francisco.

What do you do for a living?

Um, I'm a police officer.

Whoa.

Who wants to get handcuffed and tonight? Yeah.

What kind of job do you want? Like, what are you looking for?

Like, blue collar, white collar? You want a police officer,

firefighter type of

homie?

Um, honestly, nothing specific, just as long as

you're working toward something, and you're making more than I am.

So

Oh, wow.

How much, how much do you make?

Uh, well over six figures.

Whoa, what the kind of police officer are you?

Is there any single homies in the San Jose improv interested in

Officer Itzel? Make some mother noise right now.

All right, big dog. What's your name and where are you from?

My name's Alex, and I'm from here in San Jose.

All right, Alex, and what do you do for a living?

I'm actually a realtor.

Nice. And so when you saw Itzel, Officer Itzel, when you were

sitting down, what caught your attention?

What, what made you wanna come up here and talk to her?

She just seems smart, confident, looks like she knows what she wants, so,

you know,

someone I'm interested in.

Joaquin. I'm from San Jose. Bodyguard.

Bodyguard. A protector.

Ah.

Nice, bro. Yeah. When, so when you saw Officer Itzel, you know,

what made you wanna come on stage and say hi to her?

She's definitely direct,

attractive, and, um, I think I align with her,

with her goals.

Oh, he aligns with her goals.

Tell the homies your name and where you from.

Oh. Oh, boy.

I'm Diego. Um, I'm from Half Moon Bay, California.

I'm gonna hopefully work two jobs at my school.

I go to Fo- I go, I go to Foothill College, all right?

And I'm also trying to work at New Leaf, and I just signed up ...

Sorry if I'm a bit shaky, 'cause I signed up for the Army as well,

so-

I'm a bit nervous. All right. I was having a, I was having a PTSD

episode sitting alone in my own seat.

So yeah, and I mean, what caught my attention from her was

that the fact that, I

mean, I've been living a triple lifestyle, I'm not gonna lie, and I would

kind of like it, the fact that I found out or that she said

that she was a cop, I

kind of like it 'cause I think I need a woman to ... Hold on.

Hold on, hold on. I think I need a ...

Hold on. I think I, I think I need a woman to punish me.

Give it over mother Diego one time, bro.

Where would you take Itzel on a romantic first date?

Grab the microphone and be masculine.

All right. Well, first of all, I'd like to get to know you.

I'd like to ask you what you're interested in, what you know, what are you about,

what type of things have you done? 'Cause I wanna give you, you know,

something

different, a new experience. So, you know, take you to Carmel, take you

wine tasting. You know what I mean?

Just something to just sh- you know, uh, I can't think.

I'm getting a little nervous now.

All right. First date I would take you out would be

Santa Cruz.

Nearby, it's romantic, it's beautiful.

I mean, that's all I gotta say.

So I was gonna say that

... Wait, hold on. My bad. Anxiety. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on.

Hold on.

Hold on. Hold on. I'll take you to a Cambodian restaurant.

I like Cambodian food.

Um, and also I'll t- take you to a WWE event.

And ... Hold on, hold on. 'Cause wait, 'cause, 'cause, uh, 'cause,

you know, Latino Heat is my favorite guy, you know? Hold on.

Hold on. Hold on. And, um, also athletic dates like

jogging, working out, 'cause I wanna see

if you're able to keep up with me.

Yo, give it over Diego one time. What the ?

Latino Heat.

He got the spirit of Eddie Guerrero. He got corazon.

Wow. What do you wanna ask these gentlemen?

Their honest opinion about my career.

Honestly, I don't have an opinion. That's your career. That's your choice.

So I just support that. So, you know, whatever you wanna do.

I definitely support her. Um, and I support police officers.

Um-

Since you're a cop and you're sexy as , I'd ra- Hold on.

I'd rather ...

I'd want ... Hold on. I'd rather want you to cuff me.

Oh.

Give it wrong for Diego one time, bro.

He wants to get handcuffed and punished. Let's go.

Do you think you have an idea who you wanna go on a first date with?

Um, I wanna hear what the audience has to say

about each one.

Fuck.

You're gonna let the audience decide?

Do you guys wanna see the realtor?

Do you guys wanna see Joaquin?

Do you guys wanna see Latino Heat Diego?

I feel like Itzel, I feel like the crowd is talking.

What do you guys think?

Do you guys wanna see a beso between Diego and Itzel?

Officer Itzel. Do you wanna see Itzel punish

Diego tonight? Beso. Beso.

Beso. Beso. Yes.