Satirical Skit on Hamas and Media Coverage of the Israel-Gaza War

We attack Israel, they'll come back with everything.

Then how do we win?

We don't win the war. We win the story.

Anger travels faster than context.

Here's the plan: we make every target a dilemma.

Ammunition under schools, weapons near hospitals,

positions inside civilian

buildings. If Israel doesn't strike, we keep operating.

Motaz, we will make you a press journalist with

camera, so if still strike, the

camera will be ready.

Friends, what's the letter of the day?

It's M. Hi, Miss Rachel.

Hi. Yes, it's M for my friend Motaz.

Yay.

Yay.

M.

Wait, you hear this?

Yalla, move.

Habibi, camera, camera. We go now. Yalla, everybody in.

Quick, put them here. Camera, this side. Closer, closer. I need the fire behind.

Ya Allah, the people, the people. We upload this on all social media.

The liberals and the right-wing Jew haters will believe it and spread it

everywhere, and we get paid for all the views it gets.

More falafel for us.

We're still recording.

Evacuate the road immediately.

Warning has been delivered, but the civilians remain inside.

Hamas isn't letting them leave. Motherfuckers.

Everybody downstairs. Move.

They warned us. We have to get out.

Stay, you die a martyr. Leave, we kill you and you die traitor.

Now, go back to your place.

Mahmoud, your time to shine is now.

Go, tell the college students about the

genocide.

Yalla, yalla.

Israel is committing a genocide. They must be stopped.

Free, free, free Palestine.

Put cement on them. Make it look real.

Ah, yes. Perfect. I call CNN now.

In a totally believable breaking development tonight,

Hamas officials now state

that approximately nine hundred and thirty thousand children-

I'm posting this right now

... were killed overnight in an Israeli strike

on a school.

The figure has not been independently verified.

Our thoughts and prayers go out to their families.

Hmm, wait a second. Since when are there almost a million kids in one

school, and since when do they go to school at night?

No food for you. Now go.

Was fully live, you went halal and got on your deen.

And your people are still waiting for a free Palestine.

But apparently everything isn't black and white or red and green. Yeah.

I'm seeing everyone's true colors for real, I'm sensing a theme.

This place is way better than America. I mean, Hamas are awesome.

I might just move here.

Down with America.

Shalom

u'mari.

Down with America.

In my life, I've seen-

You think you can just come here? Get lost.

I need a... I need a...

Death to America. Death to America.

Death to America. Free Palestine.

I can't do it by myself. Sip on that, eat banana. Pierce

that thing like Indiana.

Stay the night, yeah, bring pajama.

Inna di world we a pray for Gaza. World boss home and I play with Gaza.

My brand new nickname Baby Gaza. Run them kitty cat like Lazya Baba.

We're Gaza!

Yeah, Baby Gaza. You have my drop, just save the

drama.