Comedic Commentary on Sports and Identity

The only crime I've committed is not being an unattractive lesbian that

likes to peg bitches under the bleachers at a softball game.

Nancy looks like an HOA president who gets wasted and hits on

her 19 year old nephew.

You know Nancy Armour is a lesbian because of her haircut.

And you know she's retarded because of what she wrote.

And also because of her haircut.

She's the only woman I've ever met that goes to sport clips.

If it wasn't for me,

these WNBA players would be riding

in the back of a U Haul truck to games and playing games at a Lifetime Fitness.

Here I thought I was just a basketball player,

but apparently I'm responsible for the lynching of a little kid from

70 years ago in Mississippi.

I play in Indianapolis,

which is only 713 miles from New York City where Malcolm X was killed.

Can we be sure I wasn't responsible for that too?