Flat Earth Theories in Pop Culture
I feel safer knowing that we have satellites that can
rain God's holy hellfire
upon our enemies on this majestic
flat Earth of ours.
Yes, Congressman, this Earth is certainly majestic.
And flat.
But why, why the big secret? People are smart. They can handle it.
The person is smart. People are dumb, panicky, dangerous animals, and you
know it.
1,500 years ago, everybody knew the Earth was the
center of the universe. 500 years ago, everybody knew the
Earth was flat. And 15 minutes ago, you knew that people were alone on this
planet.
Imagine what you'll know
tomorrow.
What are "le fries of the French"?
Are you a potato?
As sure as the world is flat. As sure as the world is flat.
As sure as the world is flat.
As sure as the world is flat.
Because the sun is like a spotlight, and it moves around shining on
one place at a time.
Okay, crazy.
But if the Earth is a pancake, why does not the water spill off the
edges?
Yeah, water would spill right off into space.
Ha, ha, ha, explain that, Mr. Pancake Earth.
Two words: butter wall.
Butter wall?
Butter wall?
Seriously, a butter wall?
That's what I said, fool. There's a big old butter wall,
and it circles the
entire Pancake Earth.
The butter wall keeps the water in.
Aha!
Look, it's the butter wall.
You've got to be kidding me.
Wow.
Wow, I never thought I'd say this, but Beast Boy was ri-
Did you know the Earth is actually flat?
There are no accidents.
Yes, I know. You've said that already.
Twice.
Well, that was no accident either.
Thrice.
There is no terrestrial globe. The Earth is flat.
I didn't wanna freak you out, but that's the truth.
The Earth is an island in the middle of space with ice around it for
water not to fall off, with a glass vial on top as
if it were Tupperware. There is no way to spin a flat
Earth the other way. I discovered this
when I wanted to go to the
moon to find evidence of man landing there, but I found out that this
was also a lie created by the government to hide the truth
End of transcript · 378 words
