Why Electric Cars Are Better: Imagining Petrol Cars Invented Second

Electric cars, by the way, the thing is, it's just a better car.

In nearly every dimension, performance, quietness, comfort, drivability, etc.

So I've just written a piece for the Evening Standard where I get, let's imagine this in reverse, right?

Where all cars are electric and we're all nipping around in little electric cars and recharging.

And this rogue Volkswagen engineer comes up with, I've got a better idea, okay?

It's massively complicated. You put a huge tank of an inflammable liquid in your car, right?

And then it feeds into these cylinders where we engineer an explosion, a series of explosions.

Now, unfortunately, it only produces torque in a limited range of the revolutionary cycles.

So we'll need a thing called a gearbox, which we'll need oil for.

And then we'll need an air filter. And then we'll need a water filter.

And then we'll need all this stuff. It's going to be vastly more complicated.

So you go, does it perform better than an electric car? No, not really.

Is it quieter? No, no, quite the opposite. It's fucking noisy as hell.

Is it cleaner? No, no, it's farting stuff out of the back.

Okay, so is it simpler to make? No, no, no. There are 250 moving parts in the drivetrain.

I know electric cars only have seven, but this needs 250.

Right, okay. So what's the upside? Well, you can refill it really quickly.

Can you refill it at home? No, obviously you can't refill it at home, right?

You're not going to have a fucking petrol tank in your car.

Are you fucking insane? You're not going to be able to refill this thing at home, right?

You'll have to go to a special place, which, by the way,

won't just be a little thing on the side of the road with a rapid charger.

It'll be a massive thing selling Ginsters and Marks and Spencers.

Basically, that guy's career's over, right?

Okay, so the 0.05% of the population who routinely drive 350 miles a day

and have such enormous bladders that they never need to stop,

they're going to benefit slightly from this insanely complicated engine.

But the rest of us are going to have a horrible time.

No, I don't really see this is going to fly.