Inappropriate Customer Support Call

Customer support.

Yeah. Hi. I- I've had one of your beds for about a

week, and it's, uh, it's just

really uncomfortable.

Oh, I'm sorry to hear about that, sir. It is sir, right?

Uh,

y- yes.

I'm sorry. It's just been ladies calling all day.

You're the first guy to ever do this.

What?

What's uncomfortable about the mattress for you?

Uh, uh, w- well, the, the ad said that it was cool in the summer

and warm in the

winter, a- and it, it's summer and I'm, I'm h- I'm really sweating here.

Well, that certainly isn't what we hope your

experience would be with our mattress,

but I think we can work on that right now.

Uh, let's start with question number one. How's work going?

Work?

Yeah, work. You have a $3,000 mattress. I'm assuming you have a pretty good job.

Yeah, I mean, I do fi- I do fine. I'm sorry. The...

Why is it-

Yeah, there must be somebody there that's

grinding those tiny little gears of

yours.

I,

I mean, nobody grinds my little... I have, uh, normal gears. It's, I mean...

That's irrelevant. I mean, look, I just want a refund. I just want...

I don't even know how to return this thing.

All right. Well, that'll be easy. Uh, I'm just gonna check here, though.

Are you married?

Am I, am I married?

Yes, sir.

It is sir, right? Did I already ask that?

Yes, it's sir. It's sir. Can you hear my voice?

You've asked me that twice now.

Yes, I'm married.

Oh, you're married.

How's that going?

It's... It's going fine. What the... What?

You know what I mean. Is she giving you a little, uh, ooh, ooh,

aah, aah, aah?

What the fuck? W- p- please put your supervisor on the phone.

Please put your supervisor on the phone, please.

Look, this is what I'm saying. There's a lot of things

that affect how we sleep.

Look at you. You got a nice job. You got a $3,000 mattress.

You can't sleep for shit. Look at me, I sleep on an air mattress every night,

but

I, I'm coming all the time. I come constantly. I shoot ropes.

I could've taken a nap on the fucking Hindenburg.

That's great.

Well, how's your wife sleep?

Fine.

Ooh.

What?

Nothing. Just sounds like she might be hitting the

dilly while you're flossing.

What? No, she's not. No, she's not.

You're right. She's got, like, four in here.

I told you. Is she hot? What's her Instagram?

What?

Nothing. Never mind. I got you guys' names here.

No, no, no. Don't, don't, don't, don't check her Instagram.

Damn, dude. Oh, shit. Is that you? What are you, like, 5'4?

I'm 5'8. It's a v- a lot of people are 5'8, and she's tall for a lady.

Yeah, that could be your problem. You're probably sleeping on too big of a

bed.

Get you a smaller, maybe a kid's mattress.

L- look, look, look

... get, like, a pillow, throw it in a shoebox for you.

Please put your supervisor on your... I wanna return the...

I wanna return this, okay? Please.

I'm telling you, you just need to come.

Put your supervisor on the phone right now, please.

You want me to make you come?

No. This has nothing to do, nothing to do with it.

I'll make you come. You'll be out like a light.

Put your supervisor on the phone right now.

Put your supervisor on the phone right now.

Fine.

Gina, got a guy who can't sleep.

How you doing, sir?

Hi. Um, I'm, yeah, I'm good. Uh, well, I'm not good, actually.

That guy was just telling me to do stuff on the phone. It's really inappropriate.

Okay? I want,

want a refund.

You want me to tell you to do that?

What?

What if I told you I would take you down to that-