President Announces No Third Term

Fellow citizens, I stand before you today as your president to

announce that I shall not be seeking a third term. What?

The country needs you.

No, in order to ensure the success of our fledgling democracy,

I believe that no man should serve

more than two terms as president.

And I hope that future presidents will follow my lead.

What if some future president doesn't follow your lead and runs for a third term?

There are remedies for that.

The Congress can pass a constitutional amendment that would prohibit that.

Well, what if there's some asshole in office, some narcissistic prick,

who doesn't follow the Constitution? Yeah. Yeah.

I understand your fervor, sir, but perhaps you could temper your language.

My apologies, Mr. President.

You know, this really gets up my dander, this stuff. I understand.

But rest assured, even if this future president violated the Constitution,

then the Congress of

the United States and the United States Supreme Court would not allow it.

That's fine. But what if the Supreme Court is a bunch of yes men and Congress

is a bunch of pussies who care more about party than country, huh?

I can't even fathom the existence of such men.

But to further ensure the success of this grand experiment,

I would suggest that after every presidential election, there be a peaceful

transfer of power,

where the loser accepts the results of the election and full

throatedly endorses the victor.

Anyone who would accept the

results of a free and fair election is a sociopath. A madman.

A man like that could even foment an insurrection rather than just admit

that he lost. What a cocksucker.

He could use the presidency to enrich himself and his family. No, no.

He could send troops into American cities to terrorize and

even kill American citizens,

all to distract from the fact that he's friends with a pedophile.

He could attack universities, even the free press,

silencing anyone who dares to criticize him. Ah, come on. That could never happen.

That's what you think are you suggesting that the president would take it's the time

to challenge anyone who?

Dare make fun of him as if he were a big baby

I don't see it

Elected president would do such a thing an insecure lying asshole who would even

cheated golf

Cheated golf That's sick. That's vile.

What is golf? It's a game. They invented in Scotland.

It's a lot of fun What kind of man would cheat at this golf?

Please citizens be calm.

He is only talking hypothetically in reality a man of such

Poor character would never be elected president in the first place

What if he was a deeply corrupt con man a Pathological

liar who preys on people's prejudices.

Are you positing that our electorate is a Collection of dupes that would

be swayed by such a scoundrel. Yes, mr. President.

That's exactly what I'm positing

That's the will of the people

For an asshole like that is the end of our democracy

Oh

I beseech you.

This is We're fucked