Police Squad Episode Highlights

Hiya, Frank. Hiya, Ed.

Just got back from the arraignment.

Sally Decker's gonna have to get her teeth straightened

in the Statesville Prison from now on.

And there'll be plenty of time to do it, too.

Got something in the side of your mouth, Al.

No, no, no, the other side.

You know, Frank, there's one thing I still don't understand.

Now, how did you know that the

money Sally gave to Dr. Zabatsky wasn't traceable?

I didn't. But neither did Sally.

Be sure to tune in next week

for another exciting story from the files of Police Squad.

Hi, Ed. Oh, hi, Frank.

Excuse me. Yeah.

Uh, Drebin here. Give me Pete Prusing.

Tell him I'd like the final report

on Martin and Sally Decker.

Right.

Looks like we got a new champ, huh?

Yeah.

Looks like I can get back to reading the sport pages now.

Speaking of sports pages,

I see they're bringing your friend Martin in now.

You think you're a big man, Drebin,

but I'm telling you I'm gonna beat this rat.

Don't count on that, Martin.

Looks like you and your cohorts will be doing

your boxing after the Statesville Prison from now on.

Ha!

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Be sure to tune in next week

for another exciting story from the files of Police Squad.

Thank you, Commissioner, but I can't take all the credit.

The entire Police Squad was in on this one. Right.

Well, Frank, it's been a good day.

We got a confession out of old Zubreth.

What? Oh, good.

I was just going over the arraignment report.

It looks like the butler at Thames

will be doing his serving from now on up in the Statesville Prison.

Along with Martin, Dutch Gunderson,

Lana, and Sally Decker.

Frank, when will people learn that crime doesn't pay?

Well, I suppose if they do learn,

we'll be out of a job.

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Be sure to tune in next week

for another exciting story from the files of Police Squad.

♪♪

Hey, you all right?

Oh, thanks, Frank.

Well, it looks like Lana will be doing

her bombing up in the Statesville Prison from now on.

Up there along with Sally Decker and Martin and Gunderson.

You know, there's one thing that still puzzles me about this case.

Now, you said Eddie lied about his alibi?

Yeah, he wasn't at the movie.

He was over in Milwaukee watching a baseball game.

Afraid to tell anyone because crossing over

the state line is a violation of parole.

Parole violation, huh?

Well, what are we going to do about that?

Forget it.

There are some things you can't deprive a man of.

Well, I'll drink to that, Frank.

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Say, Captain, what do you want me

to do with these files for you?

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Be sure to tune in next week

for another exciting story from the files of Police Squad.

♪♪

Hey, Ed.

Frank. Good news.

Just picked up Dutch Gunderson.

That wraps up his operation.

You know, Frank,

fear is a terrible thing.

Makes people forget their duties as citizens. Yeah.

Well, there's one thing for sure.

If Gunderson wants to run a protection racket,

from now on, he's going to have

to do it in a state-built prison.

Say when, Frank.

When.

♪♪

Be sure to tune in next week

for another exciting story from the files of Police Squad.

♪♪

Well, Frank, this case is all wrapped up.

Veronica Rivers confessed to killing Joey Kolders,

and we've got her and Vic and the Frenchman on the dope-smuggling rap.

Yeah, from now on, they'll all be up there together in the state-built prison.

Yep, along with Martin and Dutch and Lana and Thames and Sally Decker.

Captain, can I use your phone a minute?

Yeah, go ahead.

And you know, Ed, what all this goes to shows that

the only real dope is the one who sells it or buys it.

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