Dark Comedy on AI and Ethics

Hey there, hot stuff.

You ready for your afternoon-

Not now, Henrietta.

This is just terrible news, Henrietta. Terrible news.

Oh, my big strong boy, what's wrong?

Tell her, Quincy. Tell her what has happened.

Ah, yes, um, well, I, uh, uh ... Two youths in East Cinder have

built their own thinking machine, a, a supreme intelligence, sir.

And they're, uh, they're giving it away for free.

God. 40 years. It's taken 40 years and

six trillion krippets to build a thinking machine, and a celibate freak in a

basement has gone and rebuilt it in a bloody weekend.

Quincy, what would you do in this situation?

Traditionally, sir, uh, well, uh, we'd simply build a better product

and let the

market determine the-

He wants a fair fight, Henrietta.

In this economy?

There is, uh, um, one other avenue, sir.

We can't beat them fairly, but, uh, uh, we could have them outlawed perhaps.

On what grounds?

Uh, safety, sir. We simply tell the world

that thinking machines are far too

dangerous for anyone to build, except us, of course.

And how do we do that?

Well, uh, we frighten people, sir. We stage an incident.

Perhaps we let one of our machines go rogue, maybe somewhere with a high

concentration of elderly people, and just let it, uh, start smashing them,

the elderly.

How horrifying.

Um, and then of course, sir, you'd go on the feeds and, um,

you'd say that, um,

something like, "If even our machine can do this,

imagine what the ones built in a

basement might do."

Hmm. Yes,

a false flag.

Right, and then the terrified public begs us to

ban our own

competition.

Uh, in the name of safety, sir.

Who can argue with that?

And would the public not call it a power grab?

Uh, uh, not if we call it, um, pacing, sir.

Pacing. Right.

Responsible pacing so that everybody stops building thinking

machines until it's

safe, except, uh, those with a license, and we'd be the ones

handing out the permits, sir.

And how many permits would we hand out?

Just the one, sir.

Hmm, yes, I quite like this. Very well then, Quincy,

deploy our machines

to the nearest elder care facility and make sure to bring a camera with you.

Y- y- y- yes, sir. Right away, sir.

Oh, you're so brave, standing up for humanity like this.

Somebody has to do it, Henrietta. Somebody has to.

Mm.