Comedy Sketch on Racism Man

Everybody down! This is a bank robbery.

This is a credit union.

Oh, my goodness.

Not again.

Pride month was a huge success, Mayor White. The homosexuals loved it.

That's awesome to hear. And how are we doing on our DEI

initiatives?

Great. The fire department just hired three trans

Black

homosexual lesbians of color, and the Pilots Association ju-

Mayor White. There's been a bank robbery on 3rd Street.

A bank robbery on 3rd Street?

Technically, it's a credit union.

Who cares? We need to call Racism Man now.

Racism Man?

Racism Man.

Who's Racism Man?

He's a local superhero.

Racism Man.

And he fights racism?

No, he's racist.

Like,

really racist.

Really, really racist.

He's a monster.

But he's a great superhero. He saved the Abrams sisters from

that house fire.

Mm-hmm.

Called them horrible slurs the entire time,

but he did save them.

He may be racist, but he's damn good, and right now

he's our only hope.

Are you sure? I mean, we don't have any units in the area?

No.

How is that possible?

Remember, you fired half the police department

and replaced them with

social workers.

Don't you wanna consider the structural reasons you fell into a life of crime?

Oh, my God.

Oh, right, I did do that. What about the three trans

Black homosexual lesbians of color we just hired?

That was the fire department, not the police department.

Also, they're all dead. They died in a fire Monday.

I don't think we should be involved with Racism Man at all.

Possible shots fired at the bank on 3rd Street.

It's a credit union.

Call him.

Call Racism Man.

Is that Racism Man?

Don't point at me, you rotten

Holy shit, it is him.

And you, you eyed face . How do you even

see out of those things?

Awesome.

Awesome.

Dick Sizemore here.

Along with Sunny Milkersen.

And we've got some breaking news.

Two bank robbers have taken hostages at the Pleasantville Bank.

Sources say Racism Man is en route.

I think I speak for everyone when I say today we need Racism

Man.

Lily Smokeshow is on the scene. Lily?

Three suspects are holding up the Pleasantville Credit Union.

Police are nowhere to be found. Citizens hope Racism Man will once again

save the

day, but time is running out.

Wait, hold on. That's him. It's Racism Man.

Whore.

He is also misogynistic.

Racism Man?

Hey, it's over.

Oh, thank God.

Thank God.

I'm alive.

It's over. It's over.

Wait, don't you all think maybe this isn't okay?

You know what kills more people than bank robbers each year? Racism.

If we let ourselves get rescued by Racism Man, then we're complicit in-

Girl, move.

Dumb bitch.

I gotta go to work.

This is Dan Preference with the Pleasantville Evening News.

Stop me if you've heard this before.

There's a terrible crime in Pleasantville, someone saves the day, but it's

not the police or the fire department, it's Racism Man.

Turn this off.

Pleasantville leadership must answer for their-

I think we need to take a new approach with Racism Man, work together in

partnership.

I do, too.

We can't do that. We're one of the finalists for most

progressive city in America.

That's not a good thing.

What?

Nothing.

Maybe Racism Man has his reasons, like how Batman was swarmed by

bats as a kid or Spider-Man got bit by a spider.

Exactly. Maybe Racism Man got mugged by a Black guy

once.

We've all been mugged by a Black guy. That's no excuse for racism.

Hmm.

What?

Ay, mi corazon.

What do you do in that shed all day?

Wow, it's Racism Man.

Jew.

I always forget he's antisemitic.