Babysitter Interaction and Childhood Dynamics

Hi, guys. I'm Patty.

I'm your babysitter.

Uh,

will you excuse us for a second?

So, what do you guys want for a snack?

Excuse me?

Well, I can make you popcorn or bake us some chocolate chip cookies.

But Mom says the oven doesn't work.

You guys are just so cute.

Hello?

Malcolm, how's it going? Listen, I need you to do me a favor.

There's 200 or 300 fake IDs hidden behind the washing machine.

Now, with Mom gone, it's safe to transfer them to the garage.

Francis, I really can't do that right now.

What? What are you talking about?

Francis? Is that Francis? Tell him it's Patty Henderson from eighth

grade

algebra.

Patty Henderson says hi.

Oh my God, Patty Henderson is your babysitter?

Here, let me talk to him.

Don't let her-

Hi.

Hi, Patty.

Can't believe I'm talking to you.

You probably don't even remember me.

Hi, Francis.

Hi, Patty.

Yeah, of course I remember you. How's it... What's that, Joe?

You gotta use the phone?

He does?

I'm sorry, Patty, I gotta go. Bye.

Francis is so great. He was the only boy who was ever nice to

me.

Come on, guys. She's not that fat.

What a sweetheart, and so cute.

Yeah. I'm a lot like him.

I tell you what, before dinner, why don't we all straighten up the house

together?

Okay.

Sure.

Yeah.

Great.

What do you do when you've got an incredible woman in your bedroom?

Oh,

jee,

day.

It's the best I could come up with, given the parameters.

Well, it's great meeting you guys. Would you like anything?

They're fine.

Okay. Well, have fun.

She's a trophy babysitter.

Tuck me

in.

I wonder if she knows how to keep kosher.

What is wrong with you?

How can you do this?

What are you talking about?

You invite them over here to gawk at Patty like she's some piece of meat.

Mom and Dad paid good money for her. She's ours.

We're leaving.

He's not gonna do anything with her in the house.

Wow. She's like kryptonite.

So, this is Reese's blankie. It's

darling.

I guess suddenly there's no such thing as tomorrow.

All I have are singles, just...

I always felt so sorry for Patty.

I mean, she had this wild crush on me.

She used to follow me around, waddling, her big arms

jiggling.

I mean, she was nice, I didn't wanna hurt her feelings,

but what are you supposed

to do when somebody really gross thinks you're cute?

And I've got Mr. Sorenson for math. Do you think that guy ever changes his

pants?

'Cause I don't think so.

Really?

Listen to me, rambling on and on. I have completely lost track of time.

Uh, this call? About 97 minutes.

It's been so great talking to you.

Yeah, yeah. You too.

You were always so nice to me.

Oh, well, you deserve it, you know? You're a, a nice person.

I'm wearing one of your shirts. I was gonna sleep in it tonight.

I hope you don't mind.

No, no.

Anyway, um, I don't, I don't know quite how to say this,

so I'm just

gonna say it. I think you're really special.

And, um, well,

I heard you were gonna be home in a couple of weeks, and well, my parents are gonna

be out of town, and, and I thought maybe you could come over a-

and we could,

you know...

Listen, Patty, I have to say this, and I am sorry, but I don't wanna lead you

on. I am so not physically

attracted to you.

Like, at all.

I think of you as a friend.

Uh-huh.

Oh, Patty, see, now I hurt your feelings.

I know this may be really hard for you to believe, but there is someone out there

who will find you physically attractive, and you'll find him.

And when you do-

Look, I get it, Francis, okay? Someone's out there for me,

and it's not you.

That's the spirit.

You had to do it, man.

It's tough when you're their one shot at happiness.

This is gonna send her straight to the fridge.

Hey, Patty, wanna play video hockey?

Um, not right now.

It's working.

Okay, I'll hold him. You put the tape over his mouth,

then we'll take him to the

garage.

Where'd he go?

I don't know.

There he is.

Come to papa.

You locked us out.

Dewey, come to bed.

Okay.

Great.

What are we supposed to do now?