Hypnotist Comedy Routine

Yo.

Yo.

My boy.

Fresh bake.

I like that.

Well, I like you.

No, that was magic. That was magic.

It never-

No

... it never, it never went down his throat.

That was indeed magic.

But I've never done that.

You know who I am.

No.

I don't.

I'm the best hypnotist in the world.

You can call me Mystic Dicky.

What the- No, hell no. What the... Mystic Dicky?

Why they calling-

What's up?

Why they calling you-

What's up?

Well, the real question is, have you ever been hypnotized before?

No, I've never been hypnotized. Come on. Don't do no gay shit on me though.

I promise you I definitely won't. The first step to getting hypnotized

is imagination.

Okay.

Is there anything in the bag?

There's nothing in the bag.

Nah.

Nothing.

No, I wanna see the bag the whole time. You about to put something in there.

Okay, yeah, show me the bag.

Grab this. It's an invisible rock. Grab it.

Okay, I'm grabbing the rock.

Grab a rock. No, grab this rock.

Mm-hmm.

On the count of three, throw it up.

Hold on.

One.

Oh, shit, my bad. My, yo, yo.

Hold on, hold on. Read the, read the, read... Okay.

One, two, three. Throw it.

What the... Nah, you doing voodoo, bro. I gotta watch out for you, bro.

You, you fucking playing.

There's nothing in the bag though.

How the fuck did that happen?

That is why it's called imagination, my friends.

Oh.

You imagined you'd take something.

I did?

Nothing. Nothing.

It's nothing?

You throw it up.

Okay.

And it goes in the bag. Wait.

How the fuck is that-

Yo, check.

Yo, I'ma ask you a question. I'ma ask you a question.

This is good to me.

I'ma ask you a question.

What is this?

Yo, right away. I'ma ask you a question.

Wow.

Oh, that was clever. That was a nice though. You scammed me?

No, not really, mate. I'm just messing with you.

But the real question is are you ready to get hypnotized?

Please, come on.

Get ready to get hypnotized by the amazing Mystic

Dicky.

Mystic Dicky?

Let's do this, mates.

Do me a favor and close your eyes.

You got me, youngba.

What?

And exhale.

You gotta close your eyes, mates. Take a deep breath with me.

And exhale.

By the end of this, you are going to forget that you are gay.

Take a deep breath in.

No, hold the up. I wasn't gay. No, no, no,

no, no, no, no, no. Mystic Dick. Mystic Dick.

I was never gay, Mystic Dick.

I said yo, mister yo,

mister yo, mister yo, no, no, no. I

was, no, no, no.

Oh.

No, no, no, no. You tricked me, you tricked me.

Do me a favor. I've got a card in my pocket.

You tell me what card it is, then you're not gay. How about that?

King of, king of hearts.

The what?

King of hearts.

Somebody just...

This mother-

Oh, you got a king of hearts? How'd I know you? So I w- so I won.

Ooh.

I'm really the mother that's doing the magic tricks. Because how did I know you?

But if you enjoyed my show and were hypnotized,

give her a kiss for me please.

What?

What

the ?

No. No.