Satire: Trump Supporters Explain the Blue Wave as a Secret Plan

A blue freaking wave. Can you believe it?

I can't. I feel like I've been stabbed in the heart.

Listen, dude, everyone's saying, "Oh, we lost the midterms because Trump started the Iran war."

Bullshit. We lost the midterms because of Tucker, Candace, Fuentes, Alex Jones. Should I go on?

No, please don't. I can't take it. All they did was complain.

We didn't vote for this. Neither did I. You don't hear me complaining.

I actually supported the war before Trump even started it.

Same. I just didn't know which country yet.

Wait a minute. What if he wanted to lose? What?

Five-dimensional chess, dude. What's the most dangerous kind of man? An Iranian.

A man with nothing left to lose. He had the House, the Senate, the voters' trust.

All that shit was holding him back. Holy shit.

Like a Jedi, let go of everything you're afraid to lose.

Yep, dude. That's why he kept doing things everybody hated.

He couldn't risk getting popular. And we were out there knocking on doors, trying to save his majority.

Mm. He probably saw that and thought, "These idiots have no idea what I'm doing."

We don't. We never do. That's how you know it's working.

So the blue wave was part of the plan? Every single seat.

Then those four assholes helped him. Without even knowing it.

Genius. He even tricked us into being mad.

Trust the plan!

Send me to Iran, baby.

By the way, dude, you kept saying midtimes.

These are mid times. The good times start when the plan's finished.

The fifth dimension.