Storytime About School Misadventures

Y'all, I'm finna tell y'all this story time,

but don't come for me.

Like, this is in sixth grade. Like, I feel like I can tell it now 'cause like

I

done graduated, and I learned from my mistakes.

Like, I feel like... I'm laughing because I know I'm dead ass

wrong.

Anyways, when I was in sixth grade, I had this teacher and then out of nowhere

a co-teacher came in, and his name was... I'm not even finna say his name, bro.

So basically, I had this friend, not gonna say her name either, and we

wanted-- I wanted to sit next to her, so like

I asked. I'm like... I asked my teacher 'cause usually he let

us like, you know,

switch, s- you know, swap because, you know,

gotta be comfortable in the class to

learn. So that's when, um, the assistant teacher, he's

talking about some, "No."

What you... Huh? So I'm like,

I'm overly blue because I wanna go sit over there.

So that's when we go to lunch, 'cause she was a little mad too I guess.

We go to lunch, and I'm like, "You wanna go..."

I asked. I said, "Do you wanna go like,

I don't know, get him in trouble?" I said something like

that, and she was like,

"Yeah." So we go leave out the cafeteria.

We go to the

counselor. We go to the counselor, and then so we telling her like, you know,

the

teacher

did this, said this, did that. So then we end up having to write a

statement.

My ass, I knew it was getting serious when I had to write

that statement knowing my

mama don't play that shit. Not even the...

No, I'm saying like I'm sitting here lying

knowing my mama don't play that shit,

but I ain't give a fuck. Like, I wanted to sit over there. So, oh my God.

So on the paper I wrote that

he told me to suck his big banana.

So my ass, I'm like... The girl, I don't know what she wrote.

She said shit like that too, but like, you know, I don't know.

I was too focused on

getting belt to ass. So, bro, I kid you not.

So I'm like, "Okay, now I have to go follow up at home,"

because w- I know this

shit gonna break down. Like, once I gave that report and she read it,

I said to

her, I'm like, "Oh my gosh." Like, I knew, but I'm like, you know, I'm doing

my shit. Like, nigga, I got something to say because your ass

definitely messed

up. So,

oh my gosh, I go home and I'm following up.

I'm like, "Yes, my teacher told me to do this." Like,

I told my dad everything.

Oh my gosh, like I don't know what the fuck I

was thinking.

So that's when they, they getting a little serious on this shit

too.

I'm like, "Oh, shit." Like, mm, mm.

But I'm, I'm still going because, I mean, I got some... And I don't know.

So that's when,

I kid you not, like a couple weeks pass, like maybe a week, and

we get called to the... I get called to the, um,

principal's office.

So she's asking me about all of it, you know. "Did this happen?

When did this happen? Where?" All that.

So I'm like, you know, I'm, "Yeah, it happened here, there.

They did," like, you know. Oh my God. So she gonna tell me.

She was like, "So your friend told me that she made hers

up." I said, "Mm." I was like... And, and

honestly, I would've told her that I did too if she didn't say

that girl got

suspended for 11 days. I said, "Oh." She said, "Yeah,

so we suspended her for 11

days." I said, "Oh no." I said, "I didn't make mine up." D- I was like,

"Yeah,"

like, "I'm serious." Like, I was crying and everything.

Like her ass said, "Okay." End up finding out I

was lying because like

shit wasn't adding up. Like, I got nervous. I got nervous.

Shit start...

I start fumbling, y'all. I start fumbling and that's when

I fucking, I mean, I freaking, um,

end up telling her the shit was the truth. She gave me five-day suspension.

I was like, "I'm gonna get my ass beat at home, but

whew if I had to went home and tell my mama 11 days."

Mm-mm. I wasn't saying shit. Honestly, I wasn't gonna say shit, honestly.

I wasn't gonna say shit beca- because no, bud, I got that ass tore up

'cause they called, they called. Oh, and then she was like,

"I'm not even gonna let

you know what your mother said." I said, "I don't want, I don't wanna know.

Leave it to yourself, actually." And I went home like, "If I wash these

dishes,

I'm in there. Can't tell me shit. I, I'm cleaning. The fuck?

I'm cleaning." Nah, darling, the kitchen, it has two ways you can come in.

They both came in,

belt to ass. I'm like, "Hold on." No, actually it was one at a time.

My mama, boom, da, da, da, da, tore that ass up.

I was like, "Oh."

But I will say she had this pink ass belt and that shit ain't feel like nothing.

Felt like I was getting slapped up, but okay. Then here come Mr.

Do Too Much with this thick ass leather belt.

I mean, okay, I kinda see because that is my dad and I did say that this man,

you know. He was like, "He could've lost his job," all this.

I was like, "Damn." I just wanted to switch seats

and shit.

Y'all, I was bad as fuck in middle school

and elementary just

for reference. That's not, I feel like that's not even the worst.

It's not my fault.