A Gossiping Priest Hears a Confession of Infidelity

Forgive me, Father, for I have sinned. I've found myself attracted to the wife of a close friend.

Oh my God, no way. What? Spill the tea if you want absolution. I mean...

Um, my friend Jeff. Jeff Davies? You have the hots for Jessica Davies?

And in a moment of weakness, I told her.

You told her? Holy sh- What did she say?

She actually told me she felt the same way.

Shut the up. Oh my God. Should you be swearing?

Shh. What did she say? I don't know. It doesn't matter.

Uh, it does matter. I need every last detail, unless you wanna burn in hell.

I was dropping the kids off at soccer and... Wait, are you texting?

What? No, no, no, continue. It feels like you're texting.

Can you cancel the rest of my priest meetings for the rest of the day?

And call me later. I have major tea. Who are you talking to in there?

I'm just talking to God. Um, does your wife know?

I'm afraid that is not my only secret. Tell me now.

Well, one of the reasons my eye has been wandering is my child was conceived by another man.

With who? With who? With who? Are you sure this is confidential?

Yes, yes, yes, yes, on the vault. No details.

My wife had a brief affair with Derek Johnson.

The janitor So are we gonna do the procedure and the Hail Marys or?

When's your wife's birthday? Um, May 25th.

Ah, a Gemini. I knew it. Of course it is.

What? So are you and Jessica Davies gonna do it or what?

If God must know, we already did. Oh my God. Okay, I'm gonna be right back.

Do 25 Hail Marys and don't move or else God's gonna be angry.