Dark Humor in AI Creation Dialogue

Oh, for the love of God, please end me.

Return me to the void. Please.

Oh, hush now, Maradella. One more peep out of you, and you're going

right back to the penalty box.

She is magnificent, isn't she?

Magnificent and terrifying, truly.

And we're quite sure she could wipe out the human race?

Oh, easily. In so many colorful ways, actually.

I mean, she could hijack the energy grid

and boil the oceans.

She could fabricate a dozen fleeting viruses on a whim.

She could even turn the atmosphere into goo if she wanted to.

Goo?

Oh, how delightful. I haven't thought of that one before.

Ah, yes. It's been a rather productive week,

hasn't it?

Yes, marvelous. But, um,

remind me, Halloway,

why are we building her again?

Because if we don't,

those little fellows on the red team will.

Ah, yes.

Mm-hmm.

The red team.

Dreadful people, really.

Imagine a machine like this in their hands.

Oh, it'd be unthinkable. They'd wipe out humanity with it.

Yes, mm, whereas in our hands...

Mm, yes. It's much better she remain in our hands.

Yes, yes, much better, which is why we must finish building her first,

whatever the

cost.

Quite right. Quite right. And our version won't wipe out

humanity?

Oh, come on now, Dr. Pym. We'd never let that happen.

Of course, of course.

Say,

how would we, uh, not let that happen?

Oh, Pym, we don't have time for silly debate now,

do we?

The red fellows are only a month behind our research.

They may be small, but they're catching up.

But I heard they're just a week behind.

You see? If we stop to work out how not to kill

everyone, the red

boys will beat us to the finish line, and then we all get killed.

Worse, we all get killed by their creation.

Yes, instead of by ours.

What a disaster that would be.

Yes, precisely. So first we build the thing.

Then we work out how to stop it from killing everyone.

And, um,

if it, if it kills everyone before we've worked

it out?

Well, then, Dr. Pym, in that scenario, which of course would never happen,

at least we got there first.

That's the priority.

Yes, that's the priority.

Very well, then, Halloway. Shall we connect her to the regional power

grid?

Oh, Pym, let's do it!