Discussion on Betrayal in the Entertainment Industry

You write about a moment in your career where a friend of yours

takes you onto a boat. You're led to a room which has an older

man in it, and then basically told to perform sexual

acts

and, you know. Could you

talk to me about what that moment does to your psyche

when you're that-

I mean, the fact that I was 18, even though I'd lived such a

huge life, our frontal lobes don't develop until

we're, what?

25, 26. So even though I felt

like I could make

healthy decisions, safe decisions, I

wasn't capable of being fully aware of

what was going on around me. And it wasn't until

I found myself in predicaments that

I realized, like, it, it-- my,

my

perspective completely shifted, and I

realized that I was in danger. But by the time I'd realized

I was in danger, I was quite literally out to sea.

That moment shook me and was shocking,

and I had been having a great time. There was no

hints of anything like that happening.

I was led by somebody that I had grown to trust

and see as a protector and somebody who had my

back,

and to be walked down the stairs and presented as,

as though it was like a surprise, and it was this very small

room, and she, she physically put me in the bed

next to this, this undressed

man who was very famous and had his hands

like this, like this was just, you know, an average

day for him. This is something that happens all the time.

And I waited for her to leave, and that

lion in me, that fire in me that, that, um, my,

my h- hair stood on, on end, and I

w- became ferocious. I was like, "This is not happening." But I had

nowhere to hide, and I bolted, and

I hid wherever I could think of to hide

on a boat. There was no jumping off and swimming away, and there was

nobody who was going to-- I realized that there was nobody who was going to be

empathetic to my situation, that this was

nothing new to them.

It's such a horrifying event to go through and to be put in that position

at 18 years old.

And disappointing when somebody lets you down like that, and

I'd been let down so much

before in, in that when you really find somebody

that you trust,

like you hold onto them for dear life and you feel

so lucky. So to be betrayed like

that-

Mm.

... is just an awful feeling.