Stand-Up on Airline Safety and Israelis Stopping a Pilot

You know when you flying,

they tell you before landing weird things that they want you to do,

that it never makes sense. They wake you up even sometimes.

"Sir, sir, wake up." "What?" "You have to straighten

your seat before

landing."

That's why they wake you up, guys, to straighten your seat.

Look, here you're dead.

And here you are alive.

That's why

they woke 750 people up-

... to save your life. Here-

... cruel death, and then half an inch forward,

immortality.

But to check that the pilot is not a terrorist, that's too much.

What a stupid world.

What a stupid world.

And people came up with conspiracy theories. The Israeli government did it.

It's the Mossad. And I, I laugh. I laugh.

I can't get it, you know. It's such an insane situation

that you say,

"Come on, a plumber? Come on, man."

'Cause people don't really know our culture. I know Israelis.

I know a plumber can do that.

I know.

Guys, most of the Israelis, professionally, they don't have toolbox.

Professionally, they go into a place and fix stuff with their hands.

Sir. We know it makes sense.

A plumber took the, you know, took the terrorist down and,

and tied him with a wire of a headphone.

And then this sweet Indian, uh, pilot, this Smith

Macher, God, uh, bless him, and please be well soon

and all the blessing.

Yes, yes.

They got a dentist to take care of him. Uh...

If you ask me,

a plumber landing an airplane and a dentist as a

doctor is the same gap.

I'm just imagining, you know, after he got injured really bad, the, the,

the, the

pilot, and he got to see the, "Don't worry, I'm a dentist." "What?"

You know, "Get the out of here, man."

"Give me a real doctor. It's an airplane full of Jews.

Give me a doctor.

What are you t- you joking me?"

"No, no, it's okay. I can..." "Okay, okay, come on, I don't have cavities.

Go, go, go."

So insane what happened there. They tied him up. They took care of him.

They landed the airplane. They had also a accountant.

They came and did the taxes to the- ...

to have a,

a mohel chop this thing, and they-

... with the other wire they wrap it up.

So I went on the airplane to come here, and, uh, I took a, a plunger

with me. If you saw the-

If you saw the post, I did a post on Instagram. You saw that?

Yeah.

So I took a plunger,

and I'm sitting... I, I posted on Instagram,

and my friend Jackie, she texted me,

"Wow, this is so insane. How'd they let you go through security?

How'd they let you sit there with a plunger in the airplane?"

I'm telling you a terrorist pilot that is not allowed in Israel,

doesn't have visa

to come as a tourist, he took an airplane, and the, the plunger is the problem?

And I saw the, the interview with these two heroes,

the Israelis that took care

of the situation, and they said that after they tied him up

and they took care of

the, of the, of the Indian pilot and everything, they said that, uh,

the staff

of the airplane,

they said that, uh, from now on, we're gonna take control of the

situation.

So, Zvi told him with a thick, with a thick, uh,

English accent, not that mine is amazing, but I'm just saying.

He told him, "No, no, no. It's, uh, we are the...

You don't. We are control. You don't, uh, uh, uh..."

"We do everything. You don't do anything, okay?"

And they start to argue, "No, this is our airplane. This is our team.

We need to take..." "Uh, listen,

we try yours."

"And now,

and now we take control of the situation, okay?"

And that's exactly what happened in the world.

We tried their's method, and now I think Jews,

it's time for Jews to

control the world. It's time. We tried theirs.

It's not working.

Listen, there are two main groups in the world:

those who think we already control

it, so they won't be mine.

And those that don't know, they don't care. So don't...

We're just gonna tell them what to do.

I sat in the airplane before we took off. It was Lufthansa, okay?

And the pilot started to speak before we took off, and then I realized how, uh,

how twisted the world is today when, uh, the German language

calm me down so much.

I fell asleep to it, guys. I, uh-

I'm sitting, you know, hugging the plunger, and I'm like just...

And in the background it's like, " ".

And I'm like, "Hmm, he sounds such a nice man."