Jimmy Kimmel's Horse Delivery Skit

So, what the, what was that? Was that a horse?

I have a delivery for a Jimmy Kimmel.

Oh, hi, I'm Jimmy Kimmel. What's the delivery?

A giant horse?

For me? And a baby horse, too. Well, I didn't order a horse.

I didn't order either of those.

I'll bring the little one in.

No, don't bring the little one in.

We don't need the, oh, you want the little one?

No, I don't know, did you order a horse? I didn't order anything.

You guys, no more pizza. Did you order that horse? No? I didn't order.

No? No? No, I don't, there's

tequila all over the floor. I didn't order this horse.

I don't know what it's doing here. We're doing the show right now.

I need you to sign for it.

I don't want to sign, I just don't want it. I want to reject it.

He can send it back. Here, I'll sign for it.

What are you going to do with it? Yeah, I just.

Enjoy your horse. Yeah, thank you. I don't want the horse in here.

Can we get somebody to get the horse out of here?

Yes! Yes!

Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes!

Yes! Oh, wow.

I don't want the horse in here.

The horse is here and there's no kickbacks, bitch. I did it! I am here, baby.

You didn't even look. Woo! Ladies and gentlemen, thank you.

I have traveled far and wide through waves and war to save this audience

from mediocrity.

What is this? This is trespassing.

This is another crime you've committed here. Your face is a crime.

How long have you been hiding in that horse for this? Did the Knicks win?

Yeah, if you leave quickly,

you can go catch the end of the parade, OK? What are you doing in here?

What does it look like, dumbass?

I'm on your show, I'm promoting a new movie. It's coming out July 17th.

You know, is it called, We Bought a Horse?

No, it is called The Odyssey.

It's based on a book,

so you probably don't know about it.

Oh my god. Did you do this movie specifically so you could sneak into this room

in a Trojan horse?

That is the saddest thing I've ever heard. What a loser you are.

I did this movie so I could say that horse is a Trojan,

which is something your dad should have used on his

little wiener instead of having you.

My father has a huge penis, I'll have you know.

Your mom said mine's bigger.

And guess what, you know what?

My ploy worked, because I made it on the show, I did it, and you couldn't stop me.

Yeah. You're not on the show. Oh, really? I'm not on the show.

OK, well, because it seems like I am.

Hi, Jimmy's audience. Hi, everybody.

Oh, wait. The audience at home, do you still have an audience?

Yes, I still have an audience.

Don't get in, that's my camera. There you go. No, no, no.

All right, see, everybody at home, you can wake up now, because the show is finally,

finally good for like a minute. All right. You know what? I'll check.

You want a noodle, mother fucker? A noodle? A noodle?

I will noodle all day long.

Oh, you will, will you? Huh? Yeah.

Yeah? Yeah?

Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on. No. No. Ah!

Ah! Ah! Ah!

Ah, what are you trying to do?

Your noodle is soft. That's not what your mom said.

Ah! All right.

Are we done? Yeah, I'm good. Ow!

Oh! No, I'm sorry.

Seriously, I just want to say,

seriously, thanks for having me on your show.

I didn't have you on the show. You did.

You had me on your show. I did not.

Everybody, please go see The Odyssey.

We're going to be right back with Larry David.

I almost don't know what you said.

I say we'll be back with Larry David.

We will be right back with Larry David. All right. Let's go.

Let's go. Let's go.

Let's go. Let's go.

Let's go. Let's go.