Harry Potter Parody: Malfoy Steals Harry's Scarf and Sparks a Romance

Gryffindor password. B- b- babbling brook.

Obliviate.

Ron, can you help me out? I can't find my scarf anywhere.

I've been wearing it all week, now suddenly it's just gone.

Malfoy, I know you took my scarf. Give it back.

No idea what you're talking about, Potter.

Cut the act. Nearly Headless Nick saw you exiting our house.

Oops. Stupid ghosts. How'd you do it anyway?

Oh, I just threatened some first year. That's really not okay.

Oh, no, don't worry. I wiped his memory afterwards.

Okay, but that's worse. You get how that's worse, right?

Give me some credit, Potter. I did a good job.

I even erased some traumatic memories from his past while I was in there.

What in Merlin's beard are you even talking about?

I'm not joking, Potter. Kid's got more confidence already.

See for yourself. They see me rollin'. They hatin'.

Patrollin' and trying to catch me ridin' dirty.

Wait, this conversation is going nowhere. Why'd you take my scarf?

I don't know. Well, give it back. I need it.

So do I. What for? It helps me sleep. Whoa, like, because it has my scent?

Now that you said that we're through. Wait, Dracy, look.

Did you mean that? Do you have feelings for me?

Is all I'm thinking straight. I don't know, Potter My head spinning around. I can't see clear no more.

Well, I know of a way to find out for sure What are you waiting for?

Love me like you do, lo- lo- love me like you do. Like you do. Love me like you do, lo- lo- love me like you do.

Touch me like you do, to- to- touch me like you do.

What are you waiting for?

I could stay awake just to hear you breathing.

Get up, Harry. I wanna get breakfast. Back off, Weasley. Potter will get up when I say he can.

What? You're here again. I didn't even see you when I got up, 'cause the covers were pulled all the way up. Why doesn't Harry ever spend the night at your dorms?

Don't be daft, Weasley. Boys can't enter girls' dorms in Hogwarts.

Yeah, Ron. Besides, she's so quiet you've never even heard her sneak in.

Well, actually, babe, I cast the Muffliato charm on them whenever I come in.

That's why my ears are ringing? You're gonna give me hearing damage.

That's it, I'm telling Dumbledore.

Yeah, good plan, Ron. Go tell Dumbledore.

Speaking of Dumbledore, that guy has been posting some disgusting fan fiction online lately.

Yeah. He's been having a rough time ever since Dobby got that restraining order I just wanna stay with you Keep petting my hair Forever, forever and ever.

I don't wanna close my eyes