Discussing Relationship Expectations and Growth

There are just things like how much do you want to like know about somebody before you like to marry them or something?

And he doesn't want to know very much. Is that true?

You're like, you don't want to know their middle name?

I think the more, if you're expecting chaos and surprises,

you'll probably be happier in the long run.

It's very unromantic.

If you're just like, I want to know exactly what you're going to be every single day.

It's like, that's so lame. It's gross.

But like, okay, rebuttal, rebuttal.

But in life, naturally, like we're going to grow and we're going to change.

Like that's going to happen no matter what.

So it's good to know someone, at least at the core,

so that as they grow and as they change, you can be a part of that in some way.

You know, it's like, you know where we're coming from.

So you're saying you want to know as much as establishes kind of the ground rules.

Does that make sense?

Of what kind of person someone is and getting to see them or getting to discuss or go through things together.

You know, I think is,

I mean, I feel like I'm biased because I've been able to grow up with the

person that I love and get to know them through being literally a teenager to now.

So it's like,

of course, we're going to change and we're going to grow and life is like whatever.

But like, I still feel like there's like a bond or connection that

you feel like you know someone, at least enough to feel safe with them.

But it's kind of like, yeah, it's like you inevitably know someone a bit by just being in a relationship with them. Of course.

But I think it's the expectation of saying,

I think you kind of, you suffocate a relationship.

If you're like saying, I need to know this.

I need to know all this stuff about you.

I need to know everything about your past.

Oh, I see what you mean by that.

The past has nothing to do with you.

It's literally like, it's kind of, I don't know.

I get that.

But I also think that like if you feel safe in a relationship,

then like, I would never want to be like, you have to tell me everything about your life.

How would you know how many questions to ask?

What is it? No, I just mean more like,

if you feel safe with somebody or like hopefully you feel safe enough with me that you want to share.

It also reveals your own insecurity. If

you're constantly saying, I need to know all this stuff about your past.