California Politics and Controversial Claims

I can do the same thing, Nick.

Well, look-

What did that do for you?

Mia Bonta, do you think her creating a bill

that would make it s-

basically illegal, give someone a $4,000 fine for looking

into immigration support

service providers-

Excuse me, did you guys hear that Nick Shirley has a small penis

allegedly?

Wow, that's so adult of you.

Did you hear about this? Nick Shirley-

You would, you would never see it

... allegedly has a small pe- Well, I don't know.

I've just-

You would never see it

... this is what they're reporting. Have you seen this?

Well, the reports are wrong.

They're reporting... Well, we, we don't know. Prove me wrong.

No, I'm not... I don't do that.

Prove me wrong. It was good enough for Charlie Kirk.

Well, that would be illegal.

Prove me wrong.

You don't wanna do that.

Well, if, if you consent.

You know, so. I mean, we are in California,

they do support pedophiles.

Um, I think you're over 18. So there are news reports happening

that Nick Shirley has a small penis.

Do you have any comment on Nick Shirley's-

Well, I think he's, he's, he's-

... allegedly, allegedly small pe-

... bully comes out here. He's, you know-

Alleged small penis

... it's risky for him to be out here.

He could be banned or criminalized, you know?

Exactly.

So I try not to-

I don't think just having a small penis, is that a criminal?

Are you gonna introduce that legislation, Assemblymember-

Hey, sir, well, I-

... to ban Nick Shirley's-

So look, at your penis-

... allegedly small penis

... you'd have to lift up your fat to even

look at it, so.

All right, I'm out, guys.

You should work on that before you-

Thank you, Assemblymember

... allege somebody else-

I appreciate your service

... about their own penis.

Hey, gentlemen.

How's that report?

Have you guys heard these public reports? Nick Shirley allegedly has a small penis.

No.

There's, uh, an investigation going on if you'd like. There you go.

Thank you so much.

That's great.

There's a big thing, I just-

I'm doing just fine. To see yours, you have to literally lift up a flab of

fat to

look at yours.

I, I don't, I don't know what you're talking about,

Nick.

You literally have, you literally have to go like this

and tuck your tummy-

Okay

... and look at your own penis.

Well, I, I appreciate-

As a grown man, come up to the table like this.

I mean, I don't have-

It's kinda hilarious, actually

... I'm not... There, people aren't reporting on me having a

small dick.

Like, I don't have any reports, but-

I don't think anyone would ever make a report on you, period

... the, the people... I mean, I-

And now who is this man that would come out

and put such a false statement on a

paper to put all around Sacramento?

Well, his name's actually Terry, and Terry is the chief of staff of the

California State Assembly. So this man is the chief of staff of the

entire assembly of California, and this is what he's doing with his time.

Oh.

Can we get a photo?

Oh, yeah, you can get a photo.

See, people love me. People don't know who you are.

You want a, a flyer?

Do you wanna take the photo?

No, I'm gonna...

This is a beautiful lady right here, sir.

Oh, thank you.

See, you are not being hostile.

It's okay.

You don't get to, you don't get to touch my things, sir.

Who has it out?

You don't get to steal my things. That actually is a crime, Nick.

Come on.

Thank you. You can't steal my stuff.

Come on. I'm making you work out so people can

actually see your penis.

Ooh, Nick. I know, 'cause all the blood's flowing into your

arms and it's not

flowing into your incredibly, allegedly small penis.

Nick, you don't get to touch that. It's not yours.

Hey, she wants a photo.

I can do the same thing, Nick.

Well, look-

What did that do for you?

You can't get it, though.

Come on, Nick. Sergeant, I need my... Sergeant, I need my stuff back.

Here, let's get a pho- you want your photo?

Look at all of the papers this guy made.

I need my-

He's gonna put these all around Sacramento

... I want no trouble. I'm just worried.

I need-

Look at this. Look at this

... I don't have... Is it part of having an allegedly small

penis that you feel the

need to steal?

No. You just put it in my face, so I grabbed it. Look, you want it back?

Well, but no one's putting a small penis-

You want it back?

I do want it back, please.

He's doing cardio.

I know. He is breath- he is breathing hard.

I am doing cardio.

This is California politics. This is hilarious.

Fantastic. So are we.

See?

Yeah.

People love me. No way he get in a Tesla. No way.

No way you get in a Tesla. He probably doesn't like Elon Musk.

Look at him.

Absolute clown. He likes fraudsters.