Celebrity Pizza Parties and Stories

You had a pizza party.

Mm-hmm.

And I went to it, and I ended up in a corner talking to Mike

Birbiglia and his wife

Jen. And, uh, and so that's, it's a great way to, um-

Cast

... to cast stuff.

I just go to parties.

You don't, you know, nobody has to audition.

Well.

Just come up and say hi at a party.

We had amazing, we had amazing pizza that night, and then-

It was great. It was a, it was a b- it, it was a, it was a blast.

I mean, there's some good pictures from

that night, too.

We-

I went to Seinfeld's house for a dinner party.

Some of the best food I've ever had. Food was fucking amazing, man.

At the end of the dinner party, Seinfeld came walking out.

He was like, "Nobody go anywhere."

"You guys are in for a treat. Tonight we're gonna have some brick oven

pizza."

Everybody went crazy in the party. "What? Oh my God, brick oven pizza.

What?" One lady was like, "How many cheeses, Jerry?"

Jerry's like, "Seven different cheeses, seven different cheeses."

People went crazy. By the way, all these people were white.

These are all fucking white people.

They start chanting, "Bop, bop, bop, bop, bop." The fuck is bop, man?

People are eating the fucking pizza going crazy.

"Oh my God, I taste the cheeses, Jerry."

"I taste the cheeses."

They brought me my piece of pizza, I took a bite,

I couldn't fucking believe it.

Best pizza I've ever had in my life. Best fucking pizza I've ever had.

It had some type of lettuce on it. I'd never tasted the shit.

Type of white, maybe it's got some type of white,

maybe it's got some type of

lettuce on it. Wait till you taste the lettuce.

This white woman, ru- she leaned over again.

She's like, "It's arugula." It's a fucking amazing

night from start to finish, man.

In the car I was pissed.

I was pissed. You know why I was pissed? Because I wanted what Seinfeld had.

Where Clooney lives, George Clooney lives.

Yes.

And Jen and, and George are friends.

Good, good.

So you went to George's house?

Yes, yes, yes, of course, and, uh, he, he was, h- him and his, his wife and all

these nice people were there, and they invited, uh, Jen and me.

I know George from back in the day, too, so we, we went there and, uh, we take, you

take a boat to get, uh, get on a boat. You cruise down. Went over to their house.

They made us homemade pizza, and it was an amazing time. I sat next to Bono.

It was a good day.

That is a good day.

Too fun.

She is, she, and she likes to, she's busy all the time.

I-

She is

... I know. She's the, she's the greatest host, but I, I-

She is a good host

... I like, I'm like, "I'm going to bed at 9:00.

I can't come over.

Your thing starts at 8:30." So.

Yes, she can handle it.

Yeah.

She can handle it.

She can.

Her parties are incredible at her house, too.

Yeah. Yep, she does have good parties, and she makes good pizza as well.

She makes great pizza, yes, yeah.

Wonderful, wonderful pizza. All right, um, uh, just y'all are like, "Oh, whatever."

Um-

The friends that, uh, that you guys have.

Um, you told a story about going and having pizza at the Clooneys in Lake

Como.

That's, yeah, that's all Aniston.

He's like, "George and I would love you to come over for

pizza, buddy."

How was the pizza? Was it good?

Oh.

What'd he make, did you help?

Amal's pizza was better than Clooney's.

Yeah.

They both made, uh, everybody made a, a certain kind of pizza.

There's no pizza we didn't love.

Something that he does.

Five different kinds. Five different kinds

or six different kinds of pizza that

night.

Let's define our century.

Clooney, Clooney was excellent. Amal's was the winner.

Thank you very much for this prestigious war, award.

Uh, th- to show my appreciation, I am inviting you all to a pizza party

tonight at

Jennifer Aniston's house. I'll see you there.

Who will eat pizza if I... Jennifer? Yes. Harrison?

Winning the Oscars and doing every-

We've met, we've known each other for years.

Yeah.

You've been to my house. We've had pizza. Girl after my own heart, heart.

Do we love a pizza or what?

Yeah, we love a pizza.

Thank you.

Everyone can't seem to agree on anything anymore except for two things.

Pizza.

And us.

And us.

I invented a, uh, a child molesting robot.

Uh, it's a robot that is designed to molest children.

You built a mechanical sex predator.

Yes, yes, yes. That's, that's exactly, exactly right. This, this guy gets it.

You get it.

Oh my God, no I don't.

Um, I eat, uh, children.

Oh.

How old are you?

Uh, 12.

12.

Oh, okay. Uh, only to 10.

It's good.

Yeah.

It's good.

Children and pineapple.

Top tier to me.

Top

tier to me.

Sexy baby. Sexy baby. You are such a sexy baby.

I'm proud of you, buddy. Yeah.

It was a big year for pedophile movies. Um, Surviving R.

Kelly, Leaving Neverland, Two Popes.

Shut up. Shut up.

I don't care. I don't care. Who wants to kill himself because his wife

dies of

cancer, and it's still more fun than this, okay?

Spoiler alert, um, season two is on the way,

so in the end he obviously didn't kill

himself, just like Jeffrey Epstein.

Shut up.

I know he's your friend, but I don't care.

You like to make your own way here on your own plane, didn't you? Right.