USA vs Team EU Showdown Analysis

Welcome to the final, USA vs Team EU.

The big showdown everyone's been waiting for.

The ultimate clash between the old world and the new world.

Hope Leo himself is refereeing tonight.

So watch out for the hand of God.

And off we go.

Back to Maloney.

Maloney plays it to the right.

Merz tries to prove he can be a right winger too.

He tries to dribble against Karp of Palantir.

Bad idea.

Karp has got a whole data set about you.

You're not going to outsmart him.

On the European bench, Alice Weidel is furious.

She wants to replace Merz.

Coach von der Leyen needs to discipline Weidel.

Hegseth on the ball.

He bombs forward down the right flank.

Where is the European left to defend?

Oh, here they are, once again occupied in a principal debate.

Hegseth follows his master's command.

Wasn't that a handball?

Not for Trump.

He fancies his chance to score a goal against Zelensky.

But Denmark's Frederiksen stops him like she did in Greenland.

What a lousy dive by Trump.

The referee has had enough and shows him a yellow card.

Huge protest by our president and his fans.

Meanwhile, the Swiss team is secretly trying to secure a better deal on the tariffs.

While England is standing on the sideline, unsure who's in charge and which side they should play for.

Zelensky, acting as last line of defense for Europe, finally takes the free kick.

He plays it to Macron in the middle.

Oh la la, now we're talking.

Europe still has flair, folks.

But Merz wants the ball as well.

When two argue, the third one profits.

What a foul!

This must be the last judgment for Trump.

But Trump doesn't care about rules.

That's the end of the rules-based order.

The referee is replaced by FIFA president Infantino.

The Europeans have had enough.

They are leaving the playing field in protest.

This is a scandal.

This is a genius move by our president.

It's a trap.

Yes, the NATO troops withdrawn from Europe force everybody back onto the field.

They all have to lose to our president.

And now we play our game, American football.

He is truly a game changer.

He's playing 4D chess.

No, that's actually even 5D chess.

The only Ds I know are 32 triple Ds.

What a great run by our president.

He is carrying the heavy burden of the ball for all of us.

Touchdown!

This is winning big.

And now our president wins all the trophies.

The World Cup trophy, the European Cup trophy, the Champions League trophy.

And what is that?

The stallion of Europe.

It's the stallion that mounts the world.

Yes, of course, the stallion that mounts the world.

007, you have clearance.

Roger that.

Commence Operation Mars Raker.

The crash test dummy has been removed from the spaceship.

And the president's spacesuit is missing.

That's horrible.

way back from Mars.

There is life on Mars.

Let him rule on Mars.

Send him out to Mars.

No return from Mars.

He must stay on Mars.

The champion of the universe.

I'm the champion of the universe.

Of the universe!

NASA Jet Propulsion Laboratory, California Institute of Technology