Comedic Commentary on Dog Breeds

Theo's like, he's such a sweet boy.

Everyone knows dogs, like he's the classic lab.

He loves everyone, wants to play with everyone,

but I won't let him play with pits.

Because the thing is, pit bulls are like Muslims.

By the way, the few people who aren't excited about this,

are the pit bull owners in this room.

Listen, listen, they're not, they're not all violent.

Most of them aren't, but somehow,

almost every violent attack happens with them.

They're like the Al Qaeda sleeper cell of dogs.

You'll see a pet for years, so happy, so sweet,

and then they get a signal that we don't see

and they're activated and your face is torn off.

liberal white woman defending it, saying that you shouldn't put it down

and that somehow it was your fault.

They're like, well all the ones that I grew up with were super peaceful.

Great, we should put them in our dog parks because

it worked out so well in all the other dog parks.

This is a breed that was just, they made it just recently.

It's meant for illegal fighting and we have to pretend

that all those years of inbreeding and raising them from a young age to fight,

like that just goes away and suddenly they're westernized, I mean domesticated,

and you have to wonder if it's a practicing pit

and you know this isn't, this isn't a metaphor for anything.