Cop Interviews New Partners in an Action Movie Parody

Sorry, partner. I'm getting too old for this shit.

You're gonna have to find yourself another partner.

Great. I can't wait.

You follow orders?

Absolutely.

You ever lie to your superiors?

Never.

You're lying right now.

See? We make a great team.

Next. You can take those off.

I can.

Great. We're communicating. Next.

I heard you're a hell of a sniper.

I was asking about you.

You gotta remember now, you shoot great,

but I'm a great shooter.

Great.

Shoot me. You got a problem taking orders?

Depends who's giving them.

Me.

Well, we just met.

Next.

Hey, I was in Loaded Weapon mostly.

So, Frank, what makes you think you'd be a good-

I was being interviewed for a new job.

The detective seemed like a decent man, if you ignored the hair, the attitude, and

the obvious psychological problems.

Ahem. You know I can hear you, right?

I pity the fool.

I pity the fool.

I pity the fool.

I pity the fool.

I pity the fool.

Next.

You ever bend the rules?

No.

Ever think about it?

No.

Yeah, this probably won't work.

Why'd you ask for a transfer out here?

Hey, man, you got anything heavier than this?

Heavier? You people really are trigger-happy.

What do you mean, "you people"?

Next. So what happened at Nakatomi?

Wrong place, wrong time.

You took out a whole gang of terrorists.

Yeah.

Like I said.

Who's your partner?

Well, that's what we're trying to find out.

I said, who's your partner?

Next.

You believe in luck, Harry?

Sometimes.

You feel lucky today?

Do you,

punk?

You want some?

No, I'm good.

You look familiar. Have we met?

People say I look like some actor.

No idea who you're talking about.

Hmm.

Next.

You wanna be my new partner?

Leo, you're a funny guy.

Funny how?

What?

Funny like I'm a clown? I amuse you?

Leo.

How the am I funny?

Okay, okay, okay.

You still looking for a partner?