Comedic Story about Senior Dating

Old-ass lady, she talking about she want some young

dick.

I told her it cost 200 to fuck me, so we at the bank right now.

Boy, you better make that dick up until it hiccup.

Mm-hmm. I'm gonna put this dick all in your liver.

You hear me?

Nigga, you better make it sliver.

Mm. Come on, Lost. Like, no, for real, like I'm really...

I'm, like I'm really trying to knock that pussy out of retirement.

Boy.

Yeah.

You gonna make me check out my nursing home.

Your old ass better stop playing 'til I fuck you to death. Literally.

I wanna die.

Yeah?

Come to the house then. I'm finna kill your old ass.

Really?

Yeah. How old are you?

78.

Damn.

Ah. Her old ass really came to hell house. You know what I'm finna do?

I'm finna knock the screws off that old motherfucker, On Helen.

Boy, quit running your motherfucking mouth

and come get busy.

Mm, I'm coming right now. Hold on, hold on. Come here.

Granny, you better not bite me.

Nigga, I'm about to take these motherfucking

teeth out.

Yeah, that dick was, granny. Mm-hmm.

Ooh, you a little young nigga. You did that.

I know I beat that old shit in. I ain't gonna lie,

I thought you almost died.

Yeah, daddy, I died.

Mm-hmm. You died?

Yeah.

Mm. You gonna come back to the house?

I'm coming back.

Okay, granny.

Come to hell house.

Mm-hmm. Yeah. So as you can see, I really fucked a senior citizen for

$200. Her pussy looked like a raisin and it smelled like

prunes. Tell me why her old ass wanted the second

round like she young.

Now I'm beating that old pussy in. I'm shoving straight dick in this old

woman.

I swear to God, I'm beating that pussy in.

I'm knocking dust, spider webs, and loose change out that bitch.

I mean, I'm fucking her so good I'm seeing her

life flash before her eyes.

I'm still going. She's screaming. I'm not giving a fuck.

I'm still beating it.

Then she stopped moving. I had to call the paramedics

and tell them that she fell

down the stairs. I couldn't let them know

that I sold my dick for 200 and damn near

killed this old woman. I'm done fucking old bitches.

On Helen