The Office: Michael's Emergency Diversity Day

Everyone, don't panic, but there's a blue tsunami heading right this way.

When the wave hits Scranton, I want them to find us already woke.

Emergency diversity day starting now in the conference room.

Last year, Michael made us do masculine energy week.

There was a cold plunge in the parking lot in February.

All right. Before we get into the agenda, I just wanna take a moment of silence for the stolen land we are currently occupying.

Kelly, I'm so sorry for what we did to your people.

Michael, I'm Indian, like, from India. But still, it's important that we recognize what we took from you.

Honestly, I'm kind of excited. I never took my pronouns out of my email signature, so I think I'm safe from getting canceled.

A tsunami takes the weakest first. In this office, that's the straight white males.

Jim, I'm sorry, but we have to let you go as part of our DEI initiative.

So does that mean you're not a straight white cisgender male?

Aw, congrats, Dwight. I didn't know you were gay.

I am not gay. Not that there's anything wrong with it if I was.

I am a straight white male. Obviously, it would be nice if we had some more they/thems in the office, but we can still show that we're allies, and that's exactly why I'm dying my hair and letting every employee get at least one free piercing fully expensed by Dunder Mifflin.

I always wanted my ears pierced, but my mom wouldn't let me.

So yeah, this is a pretty exciting day.