Family Dynamics in Home Movies

David, could you look in the cabinet for the TV

remote?

My leg's hurting something awful today.

Yeah, sure, Dad.

Oh, whoa. Are these-

Home movies? Yep.

Your father always had that camera out.

Do you mind if I put 'em on?

I'd love that.

Let's just be quiet. We don't wanna wake up Grandma.

Shh.

Go David!

I miss those days.

The only thing I don't miss are those grass stains.

Happy birthday to you.

Oh, wow, my third birthday.

You just about ate that whole darn cake.

What's this one, Dad?

That is the day that I found out I was gonna be a daddy.

Come on, pop it in.

She likes to sleep around, and he's a broke-ass liar.

There's just one thing we don't know.

Is he the father?

You know you are, Ray. Your deadbeat ass is the

dad.

Nope.

Admit it.

Nope. That baby don't even look like me.

How could I be the daddy?

What is this?

It's the Corey Derbeck Show, and we owe a lot to that good man.

Mm, amen.

Amber has a six-month-old baby named David, and she's convinced

that the father is Ray, a man she met at a backyard

wrestling event. Yo, yo, yo, yo. I just wanna say one thing.

I just wanna say one thing.

She a hoe.

Oh!

Dad.

No, shh. Watch this part. Watch.

Now, how y'all know I'm the daddy when she be sleeping with

everybody?

Well, of course I've been sleeping with

everybody. I got this ass, don't I?

I got this ass, ass.

But wait, there's another man who might be the

father.

And here he is, Amber's coworker at GameStop, Zack

Barbacano, AKA Spooky.

Oh. Oh. Oh, okay.

Yeah, okay, shut up. Shut up.

Who the hell is Spooky?

We have a question in the audience from Amber's mother.

I have a question for Spooky.

You mean to tell me that the entire time you

were sleeping with my

daughter, you were also sleeping with me?

No.

Nah, it wasn't even like that.

Oh, so that's how it is, Ma?

Fight me, bitch.

Oh, yeah. Yeah.

I will kill you.

What, what? Are we even sure this is your baby?

I mean, look at this thing.

Look like a damn Benjamin Button. Say it with me,

y'all. Ugly baby. Ugly

baby. Ugly baby. Ugly baby.

Well, we have the results right here.

Whatever happens, I still plan on being in this baby's life.

When it comes to six-month-old David,

Spooky, you are not the father.

Yes!

God is real, y'all. Come on.

Yes. Told y'all.

No. Stop, that's so embarrassing.

Baby.

What?

Will you marry me?

Oh. No. Get away from me.

I told you. I told you. I told you.

Man, what the... You all right?

Spooky, look out.

Who want some?

That's why you need a cane? You told me it was a skiing accident.

Look, son, I know it's a lot to take in.

It doesn't matter where we started. Look at us now.

We are a family,

and we love each other.

Oh, looks like Grandma's new nurse is here.

Let's go, Linda. Time for your medication.

I switched the results.

God is real, y'all.