Humorous Commentary on Relationships

My wife's getting kind of fat. What do I do?

The only thing to do is make her walk 10 miles every single

day.

Then what happens?

Simple. In 30 days she's gonna be 300 miles away

from you.

Wake up filthy.

Marriage is the best thing that can ever happen to a man, period.

According to statistics, 80% of women escape poverty through

marriage,

while 80% of men enter poverty through marriage, so let that sink in.

Wake up

filthy.

Ma'am, what is the difference between a wife

and a prostitute?

Um, well, a prostitute will fulfill all of your

needs with your money, while a wife

will fulfill all of her needs with your money and make you do the dishes.

Wake-

Ma'am, what's something that feels completely different from how

it used to be?

Um, men today have to work 20 times harder

than their grandfathers for women who

are 20 times worse than their grandmothers.

Wake up filthy.

What pronouns do you go by?

They/them.

Is that because you're or is it because you think you count as

multiple people?

Wake up-

Do females in a coma still get their period,

or is it paused until they wake up?

Well, definitely a no, 'cause it's a coma, not a period.

Wake up filthy.

Should a man marry a single mom?

No. Men was created to start a family, not to join.

Wake

up filthy.

My ex told all his friends I was terrible in bed.

Imagine his surprise when they all disagreed.

Wake up filthy.

All of you must agree that women are superior than man.

I mean, like, in this economy, you gotta be financially stable to date a

broke

women, and alongside they also come pre- .

Then you should just double it and give it to the next person.

Wake up filthy.

Women do love themselves. It's only insecure men who have a problem

with us.

Girls be out there getting fake lips, weaves, wigs, lashes, and think they are

too good for you. Chick, you weren't even good enough for yourself.

Who are you bro? You know that perverse speech is actually a sin?

You had, like, 50 in your mouth. Never lecture me about

Wake up filthy.

Ma'am, how do you get a girl's number?

Um, roll her over when she's sleeping. The numbers would be tattooed on her arm.

Wake up-

What happens when you paint your laptop black?

Um, it's supposed to run faster, but instead it just steals your data.

Wake up filthy.

How do you know when your best friend's gay?

Um, probably when their meat tastes like .

Wake up filthy.

What is the most savage thing you have done?

Um, one day I paid $10 for $100 item to a

transgender cashier, and I

said, "My $10 identifies as $100 note."

Wake up

filthy.