Ukrainian → English transcript

How to defeat corruption in Ukraine? I'm quoting an essay by an eleventh grader.

I believe that no one needs to be shot.

I'd pick the most remote, abandoned village in Ukraine, out in a steppe or a forest.

I'd fence it with electrified barbed wire and send all politicians and officials there, without exception.

Plus, all their silicone-pumped wives, their parents, and their adult children.

I'd give each a shovel, a bucket of potatoes, and a bucket of wheat. For breeding, you know.

And once a month, I'd bring them bags of second-hand clothes.

So the women, used to designer clothes, wouldn't suffer from their absence at all.

And so they don't starve to death, I'd buy each of them groceries worth a minimum pension.

And that would have to last for a month. And most importantly, I would install video cameras everywhere.

And all Ukrainians would have the highest-rated reality show in the history of world television.

My beautiful hell!