Discussion on Sexuality and Drug Use

Um, when people say sex with men, you immediately think of, like, butt sex.

I mean, sorry to be graphic, but that's kinda like where the mind goes,

right?

Yeah.

And it wasn't that. So I don't wanna be like,

"Okay, I did this thing, but this, uh, that, that part of it didn't happen 'cause

it, but it didn't," you know what I'm saying?

And so, um,

I don't know that that matters, but that's the only part of it

that I'm like, it

wasn't full-fledged, man. It was that

like, uh, you'll experiment with in college,

you know?

I never went to college, so maybe that explains it.

D- do-

But it's not a shame thing.

Yeah.

It's just kinda like a, huh, that's a, that's a bit of a broad

category, um, that, that was more specifically,

um, there was a, the c- the curiosity about that

was more specific than

that.

Was it the drugs that made you curious, or were you curious

before the drugs, and the drugs gave you the confidence to

kind of-

Yeah, that's a good, that's a good question.

Um,

I, I, sitting here, I don't really know.

Um,

I'm not gonna say, "Oh, yeah, it was absolutely the drugs," because

there's,

there's two schools of thought, that the drugs, you know, open doors

that are,

that, that are already somewhere in that house, or that they

create them, you know? Um, so

I don't, I don't, I don't know. Um, it never happened without,

without the, the, you, you know, insane amounts of, of crack.

Um, so-

Really?

Yeah.

What, what's, like, what are insane amounts of-

Like, the stuff that you were asking about.

Yeah.

You know, when the, when the cartel says, "Hey, your,

your man is dealing. If, if, if we're supplying that kinda weight,

your guy is a dealer, and that's just the way it is."

So

yeah, that, that's the kind of that's, you know...

Um, and it's, I, I think we made a really interesting

choice, or Renzi

did, um, to include Marco in the

documentary because we were, Renzi and I were talking about it in all the

planning

stages, and, you know, we know that-

And Marco is?

He's the, he's a dealer.

Oh, that's right.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I told, uh, Renzi that was my favorite interview

that he conducted.

Okay, good.

Yeah.

Good. Well, we just decided, you know, people have told these stories of,

you know, crazy partying and all the people, and I'm like,

"I don't think

anybody's ever had their dealer in their documentary."

And he's like, "I don't think so, either."

So reached out to Marco, and pretty courageous of him to, to agree

to do it,

you know, 'cause we don't know, like, what the thing is or what, who's he,

who he's

still, whatever.

Right.

Um, and he was like, "Yeah, sure. I did my time.

I'll sit down," 'cause he did it for me, which is really cool, you know?

What's your best guess as to how, uh, you contracted

HIV?

Probably in that

pocket of time with the experimentation with the thing.

And I, you know, I d- I don't really ever say

that in the book or the

doc, but there's a reason in the book that it does fall

into that,

it, as far as the chronology goes, into that specific

window, into that moment. Yeah.

And what, like, what gives you the confidence

that it happened then?

'Cause I didn't have it

before that,

and then found out I had it

right after that.