Critique of Dr. Fauci's Pandemic Diary

So, Dr. Fauci's pandemic diary was released,

and while Americans were worrying about losing loved ones and jobs,

he was jerking off to his biggest crush,

himself.

Here's an entry from April 2020.

Hot and heavy?

It's a weird thing for a doctor to say,

unless, you know, you're watching Lizzo on a treadmill.

Then in May,

quote,

Jesus, get a room, dude, with yourself.

Is this from Fauci's diary or the son of Sam's?

I'd read the next five pages, but they were stuck together.

So, while thousands were dying, Fauci was on Tyra Banks' Instagram,

where he noticed,

Right.

If you look at Tyra Banks or Dr. Fauci

and think, flip a coin, COVID-19 is the least of your problems.

Oops.

But that's Tony's diary.

Page after page of delusional narcissism you'd expect in a choose-your-own-adventure book by Justice Smollett.

Brags about his 58 honorary doctorates,

invites to TV shows,

new celebrity pals, like

Barbara Streisand. Yeah, she called Fauci and she casually mentioned her shingles,

the lesions on her butt.

Way to include that detail on a government server,

doctor. What happened to doctor-patient confidentiality?

Hell, even I didn't spill the beans when Jesse told me his hairpiece had chlamydia.

But Tony would count deaths and headlines on the same page.

But he loved the spotlight almost as much as he hated scrutiny.

Much of what he said in public, he contradicted in writing,

starting with the Wuhan Viral Research Center,

which was leakier than Joe Biden after two quarts of Snapple.

Remember when Fauci said COVID came from a wet market and anyone

pointing to the lab down the block had their reputation destroyed?

Privately, he wrote that a lab leak was possible.

But only privately.

And why is that?

Well, Fauci oversaw grants that funded bat coronavirus research at the Wuhan Institute via the non-profit EcoHealth Alliance.

and a coronavirus escaped.

Millions died, many alone.

Others developed addictions and mental illnesses.

Kids got dumber, businesses closed.

Hell, if this were my purview, I'd blame some bat soup, too.

He said publicly he never wanted to shut down the country,

but in his diary, he bragged he got Bill de Blasio and Gavin Newsom to shut everything down.

He said if he got the jab, he wouldn't get COVID,

but in November 2021, he confessed, I'm well aware that many people vaccinated are still getting infected, and that worried me a lot.

Really, I think what worried him was losing all the love once he realized what a boob he

was. But he needn't worry.

If there was any group who loved Fauci as much as he loved himself, it was these bozos.

The single most respected voice in the pandemic,

it's Dr. Anthony Fauci. The man who's become known as America's doctor.

Dr. Anthony Fauci, the nation's top infectious disease doctor.

You are seen to many as a superhero. Dr. Anthony Fauci,

American

hero. Yeah, American hero. From the guy who said Joe was sharp as a tack.

Yeah, and Graham Platner should be on the cover of Jew Lovers Monthly.

Is that a thing? Yeah, I think so.

In fact, Fauci was so close with the press,

he had dinner with Jake Tapper twice and fantasized about their friendship building.

Of course, Jake will deny it until he writes a book about it.

Then there's Dana Bash and Wolf Blitzer sending him brown nosing texts,

revealing once again that fawning media bias is the real epidemic.

Then there's his appearances on The View,

the one place we'd all agree everyone should wear a mask.

Fauci also got his scientist buddies, the ones that depended on his funding,

to nominate him for awards.

One netted him a million dollars.

If only we were warned about him.

Well, we were.

Here's how the late Nobel Prize winner, Kerry Mullis, saw him.

Guys like Fauci get up there and start talking.

He doesn't know anything, really, about anything.

And I'd say that to his face,

nothing.

They make up their own rules as they go. They

change them when they want to.

And they smugly, like Tony Fauci, does not mind going on

television in front of the people who pay his salary and lie directly into the

camera. That was decades ago.

You know, vanity is one of the deadly sins for a reason.

And here, it proved really deadly, just not for Fauci.

Let's welcome. Here he is. Tonight.