Controversial Jokes and Social Commentary

It racism that Santa is always white. We should make him Black.

Um, yeah, I mean, that would make more sense because it's

always Black guys

sneaking into your house at night.

What was the most sold item in the 1800s?

Oh my God.

You are absolutely correct.

Why are all the Black people so fast at running?

Um, because the slow ones are in jail.

What hurts more, childbirth or a kick in the balls?

Kick in the balls, no question.

Why is that?

'Cause I ain't never seen a man get kicked in the balls and go asking for another

one.

What is your most controversial opinion?

I think prison is the best place for all liberals.

Everyone is equal, free food, free housing, no guns, same

relationships. They'd all just fit in there perfectly.

What's your best advice for a long-lasting marriage?

Um, maybe by keeping his stomach full and balls empty.

I am sorry for interrupting the show, but guys,

today I just joined the 8% of Black

men with master's degree.

Um, just about 160 years ago, 100% of them had masters.

Oh my God.

Look how far they've come.

Can you write something on this paper on racism?

No, I wouldn't do that.

Why, ?

I wanna keep the paper white.

Who was the first Black person that got accepted into Harvard University?

Um, the janitor?

Why do mens have two heads but don't use either one?

Same reason how we women got four lips but can't keep them closed.

Can a guy have female friends?

A guy can have a girl that is just a friend?

Yeah.

No, listen, listen, listen. I'll wait.

You as a girl can be just a friend to a guy, but it means you're just ugly.

What do you do for a living, sir?

I manage high-

Yeah

... stakes cases of pathological lying.

Oh, uh-huh. So you work for the Democrats?

Look, nobody's done more for the homeless than

Democrats.

Yeah, because they made a thousand new ones.

Do you drink?

No, it's bad for my legs.

Do they swell?

No, they spread.

Why don't witches wear underwear?

Um, to get a better grip on the broom.

Oh my God.

Oh. What's the difference between our dad's

generation and our generation?

Um, they had Wonder Woman, and we have to wonder if it's a woman.

Can a man and woman be friends without sleeping together?

Yeah. It's called marriage.