Boxing Match Dialogue and Humor

Don't go away.

Who's he?

That's the champ, Tiny Irish Bob Murphy.

But he ain't tiny, and I have a sneaking suspicion he ain't

even Irish.

Irish eyes are smiling.

You old son of a gun, you.

You heard the champ. He's Irish,

but he ain't tiny. He definitely ain't tiny.

Go in there.

All right, come on.

Uh, the ref wants to talk to you. Come on.

Champ, let me check that glove.

Look fella, give me a hand, will you?

Sure.

That's a good glove.

Come on, come on, come on, come on. Boys, this is a 15 round fight.

And, uh-

Don't bet, don't bet on that. I have a dinner date in 10 minutes,

and I'll be

showered, shaved, and dressed, and five minutes early.

Oh.

Oh, oh.

You got him now. Now you got him.

What do you mean I got him?

You got him.

And there will be no hitting below the belt.

You know, that don't leave me much space.

Yeah, that gonna be your problem, not mine.

And if there's a knockdown, you go to the nearest neutral corner.

All right?

That's where I'm going right now.

Where you going?

To the nearest neutral corner, which happens to be, for me, 125th

Street and 8th Avenue. Later. You got him. Fight him, whitey.

Come on. Get in there. Get him in a clinch.

We'll think of something.

Don't worry about a thing.

We'll think.

He's scared to death of you.

Get him in a clinch?

Yeah, we'll think of something. Don't worry.

Look, look, look, I tell you what. Why don't you get him in a clinch?

'Cause I already thought of something I told him before.

What?

I'm gonna leave.

Oh.

He'll kill me.

Get him.

Come on, come on, come on.

Go ahead, Jimmy.

All right, fight.

All right, get him. Get him there, Jones. Hit him in the midsection.

You got him now. You got him, Junior.

Hit him in the midsection.

That's it. Hit him again. Now you got him.

Get him on the ropes.

That was a good one, Junior.

Oh, that's a good one.

Oh, you got him now.

One more like that. Get him, baby.

Atta boy.

You got him. There you go.

Oh.

One more.

Hey.

What?

There's only one hope left.

What?

Try and make friends with him.

What?

That's it. Make friends.

Make friends with him?

That's it. Make a friend of him.

Just a friend.

You can do it.

Hi there, sailor. New in town?

Hey.

Oh.

It's no use. We better throw in the towel.

No, wait.

Yeah, I think you're right.

Wait, wait.

What? What?

Just wait. I've, I think I got one thing

that can take him by surprise.

You do?

One last thing. Geez, rough.

Psst, psst. Come

over here. Come over here, bro.

Come over here. I have something you wanna

know. How

much do, do, do you wanna get paid?

Oh. Oh.

Oh, Jolton. Jolton. How did you do it?

What, what did you whisper in his ear?

I just told him that George Wallace was gonna buy the house next door to his.

And that flattened him?

Wouldn't it flatten you?

Nice work, work,

fella.