Royal Family Comedy Sketch

Dear Camilla, nothing like a quiet Saturday in Balmoral.

Clean Scottish air,

dirty Scottish people.

Bliss.

I do so love our weekends away. No responsibilities,

just like every other day.

What in the devil is that racket?

Daddy.

I'm home.

Harry, what are you two doing here?

This castle is for royals only.

Oh, Charles, don't be such a grump.

Hello, sweet Harry, mwah, and beautiful Meghan, as

brown as ever.

Gee, thanks. Hey, Step-Queen. I, I, I brought you a gift.

Oh, Meghan, you shouldn't have.

It's ice.

I made it myself.

I can give you the recipe. I'm, I kinda was in the kitchen.

It's true. She hires the best cooks.

I love you.

I love you more.

No, I love you more.

No, I love you more, baby.

I love you more.

Stop-

No, I love you-

Stop that! Ugh.

What do you two want?

We're moving back to the UK, and we need your help.

Don't tell me you've spent all your Netflix money already.

Daddy, it was $60 million. How long was it meant to last?

I'm not asking for much, just a duchy or two.

What a waste you've become. You're lucky your father isn't around to

see this.

What? What? What was that? What? What?

Ne- nevermind. Nevermind.

Daddy, just because I don't want to be a royal

doesn't mean I want to be a regular

guy.

Did somebody say regular guy?

Andy Burnham.

What are you doing here?

I'm the new PM, and I'm nothing like the last one.

Harry, Meghan, I'm here to tell you that just because you're normal

folk doesn't mean your life has to be crap.

That is the Burnham promise.

My God. He's magnificent. Look at those lashes.

Hey, love, me eyes are down here.

Come on. We're all here. Now-

Hey, now listen up, cockers- ... because the

people have spoken, all 300 people-

... who decided I was to be prime minister.

And the message is clear: There is more to Britain than

London. There is Manchester. There is Liverpool.

There's that town that I'm the MP of now.

It's all a bit of a rush. I didn't catch the name.

Makerfield?

Maybe I will make a field.

I'm gonna make all sorts of things once I remember the name of that bloody

place.

And speaking of building, mark my words, Number 10

North is just the start. I will not stop until there

is a Number 10 on every street in this country.

Even streets that only have nine houses on them- ...

we will build one more.

You see, you shagasty, like-

Like Gary Barlow before me, I'm just a regular man from the

North-

... with a dream, a relatable manner, and a massive son.

Shout out to Giacomo Big and Tall range-

... because of you, my boy looks bangin'.

What do you say, Meghan? Shall we be regular folk just like Andy?

What the heck? I like him more than the last guy.

That's my whole thing.

So hear this: Yes, there are dark forces

out there trying to divide us, and yes, they will

succeed.

But until then, I say let's have a pint.

I will buy everybody a pint.

Because,

because I want you to like me.

I need you to like me, and-

Live from the new satory!