Humorous HVAC Service Advertisement

Oh no, a critical error.

Uh-oh, looks like someone needs a new heating

and air conditioning system.

That can be scary. Most companies have high fees,

hidden costs, and a lack of

transparency. Not us. At Up Front Heating and Air Conditioning,

we'll tell you from

the beginning, this whole process is gonna be a nightmare.

First, one of our salesmen will come diagnose

your problem.

He's gonna be nice, he's cool, the kinda guy you don't mind having in

your house,

and you'll never see him again. Instead, four to five of the weirdest guys

you've ever seen in your life shows up.

They'll spend the next three days in your house making a mess- ...

desperately trying to figure out what the hell is going on with your AC unit.

They'll laugh at you when you walk by.

At least one of our employees will have a horrific injury that will have been

bandaged up by another employee that has seen much worse.

Hey, quit bitching about your toes, bro. Hey, what you got, a foot fetish?

Hey, Tony got a foot fetish.

He does. It's one of the better fetishes our guys

have. Have kids in the home?

I hope not. 'Cause that means most of our guys can't be there

that day.

Why?

If you got windows, these guys are gonna look in them.

Oh, Jesus.

Right at you. Oh, he found you. And that's not all.

These guys are gonna openly smoke cigarettes around you and your family.

Psst, hey, little dude.

Stay away from these, 'cause you'll get too many girls.

One guy will have one of those shirts that doesn't cover his whole belly- ...

and he's gonna have a lot of belly hair. Or is it pubic hair? No one knows.

And of course, one of our worker's girlfriends will show

up and they will get into

a long, loud, domestic dispute out front of your house.

Ow.

Kidding me?

Who is she?

Just a friend, just a friend.

You know I can't have niggas at the house.

You're being crazy.

You wanna see crazy?

I'm working.

Hey. If you need any help, you can call our office and talk to Haley.

Haley's job, from what I can tell, is flirting with guys wearing unlaced

Timberlands.

So when you wanting me to take you out to dinner for real?

Stop.

What?

Whoa.

Haley married one of the owners years ago. Back then, he was doing all right.

He played college football. Things were looking good.

Then he hurt his knee.

Oh.

Now he spends 30 minutes in his car after work wondering how he can get from the

front door to a beer without having to answer a question.

Lose myself inside of you.

It's whatever.

At Up Front-

Hey, what is taking you guys so long?

Oh, I'm sorry, do you wanna fix it? Coming out here talking in khakis and

flip-flops. Tell you what, tough guy.

If you can tell me what this is, I'll do the whole job for free.

A pump?

Eh, wrong. Now get out of my shot.

It was a pump. But he didn't know that. Now let's hear some testimonials.

Uh, yeah, I'll talk about it. I mean, first, they showed up and they-

See that? We showed up. What's going on, man?

When it comes time for payment, we do not accept check, credit card,

or cash.

You have to Venmo us and say it's for pizza.

The big HVAC companies don't do this kinda stuff, but you didn't read our reviews,

and that's your problem. Up Front Heating and Air Conditioning,

we'll save you

money, but it'll cost you.