Doctor Recalls Performing CPR on His Grandmother for 45 Minutes

As soon as I got to Chiang Mai as a doctor

and then in three months I had to go, go do my compulsory service 00:04,800

--> 00:07,800 yeah, and during those three months

it was a time 00:07,800 --> 00:10,800 and we were just normal

And then 00:10,800 --> 00:14,200 on April 13

which is Songkran Day, I was at Siam 00:14,200 -->

00:17,000 then my dad called and said that, uh, Grandma’s heart had stopped

so we rushed to drive out of Siam to around here

I went in to give Grandma CPR 00:21,500 --> 00:25,200

I asked to go in, said I was a doctor, I asked to go in 00:25,200

--> 00:27,800 to do it myself, to pump myself 00:27,800 --> 00:30,000

Do you remember that day?

Because

I remember, I remember everything, I remember every single second 00:33,500

--> 00:34,500 How was it? 00:34,500 --> 00:37,000

I just kept doing compressions and, like, I—I… 00:37,000 -->

00:42,000 at that time my CPR skills were really solid

We definitely did not mess up. 00:42,000 --> 00:47,000

And I was strong, and I, I was pretty sure that back then my chest muscles were big too.

00:53,500

When I was studying, in sixth year, I… I clearly remember the professor liked to praise me,

like, “Hey, your compressions are good,” 00:53,500 --> 00:58,000 because some…

Because some of the doctors, some of the female doctor friends, some of them,

they could not handle the force. Because 00:58,000 --> 01:01,500

doing CPR compressions, you have to keep going for two minutes, 01:01,500

--> 01:03,500 which is really long. 01:03,500 --> 01:08,500

It is really long, P’. If P’ Ja had to do chest compressions on a person,

the chest has to sink down two thirds of its depth, 01:08,500

--> 01:14,500 if you follow the protocol in the guideline at that time.

Back then I— I have not updated the guideline to the current one.

guideline at that time was about

thirty minutes. If there was no response by then, 01:19,500 -->

01:22,000 the chance of coming back was very low. 01:22,000 -->

01:25,500 Uh, I remember I was doing CPR on Grandma, like forty, forty-five 01:25,500

--> 01:30,500 Which I had never… I had never done CPR on a patient for more than

thirty to thirty-five minutes.

Yeah

But Grandma was… Grandma was the only one, and the first one after I finished med school that I ever did chest compressions on like that.

And I kept doing compressions

But what was… what was more traumatic than that moment was

coming out, 01:42,000 --> 01:45,500 walking out of the room.

The emergency room, 01:45,500 --> 01:48,500 because when I went in

there was no one there yet.

The moment I walked out, it was full of relatives.

And then my grandpa 01:55,500

--> 01:59,000 My grandpa was right there. At that time he was still alive.

he walked over to me.

He hugged—he hugged me and started crying. 02:03,500 --> 02:09,000

It was probably like the first time in my life I had ever seen Grandpa cry.

And then he hugged me and said…

“Hey, it’s okay, do your best.”

And I just collapsed right then.

But now my grandpa has passed away.

So that was probably like, the first time, the first time in my life that—

My grandpa was a soldier, he was navy,

so I had never, never seen him that emotional.

And I was like… that moment—

That moment was the peak of my life.

Phi Jim even announced it himself, that Grandma had passed away, he was the one who said it.

You were so strong, really.

I did not really make an announcement like that.

Because there was still the attending doctor right there.

I just, I was just the one who walked out

and told everyone like, “We can’t, not anymore.”

Like, that day, that exact minute when you have to accept it… how was it?

No, if… if in terms of the story

accept, uh, I am already at acceptance

I, I, I skipped, I skipped five sets of grief

I can go straight to acceptance, because we…

we’re also doctors, so we understand the mechanisms

in the human body and stuff like that too. 03:03,000 --> 03:08,000

So we kind of accept it, but it’s just, well, it’s still…

still some trauma left.

Yes, it is trauma there.

A lot, right there, really a lot. 03:13,500 --> 03:16,500

P’Jim said that actually what happened after that was

PTSD. 03:16,500 --> 03:21,500 I am still dealing with it.

I do feel that way. If, if I had to do CPR, then then that would keep

flashing through my mind the whole time. 03:23,500

--> 03:27,500 But if you ask, like, if something happened to someone now,

I can do CPR. I have no problem with it. 03:27,500 --> 03:30,000

I have no problem with that

but if

If, let’s say, it’s someone who 03:33,000 --> 03:35,000

You can relax, C, if anything 03:35,000 --> 03:39,000

Yeah, if it’s someone I… if it’s someone I love and they have a

relationship that falls apart or something