English transcript

my wife and i have been happily married for two years

you've been married for 13

yeah but only two of them were happy

why don't you do the dishes like i asked?

haven't you heard?

it's illegal for men to participate in women's sports

well good news doctor says that i can fix that

erectile dysfunction with diet and exercise

okay

now we just have to get you to diet and exercise

do i please you in bed?

yeah i really like that trick you do with your mouth

what trick?

the one where you shut it and go to sleep

what should i be for halloween?

you don't need a costume you're scary enough

here

what's this?

you've been so cranky lately i figured you've been losing blood

wait what did you ask me?

do you think i'm a trophy wife?

yeah a participation trophy

ah you didn't take the track

you're starting to sound like my ex-wife

i didn't know you were married before

i wasn't

you know i can remember when we got married

i can even remember where we got married

but for the life of me i can't remember why

i just saw a really big manatee in the water

well it's on the beach now

have i ever told you that i love your cooking?

no

then why are you still cooking?