Satire on Rewriting Indira Gandhi's Assassination in a Film Script
2 min Machine translated About India Film & TV
Oh, good evening, ma'am. I'm Sonali, a scriptwriter.
You called me in to narrate the film story.
Hmm, sit down. Start talking.
Uh, ma'am, my film opens in 1984, when PM Indira Gandhi was killed by her two Sikh bodyguards, and as news of this spread… Wait, wait.
What did you say? Sikh bodyguards? Yes, ma'am.
Did I say something wrong? Wrong? Very wrong.
Every bit of this is wrong. We can't show this, man.
You cannot bring religion here. Uh, ma'am, but this is history.
It's a historical fact. To hell with history.
I don't want to make a film and get banned.
I'll get death threats, man. We make films to make money.
We're not making this film to die as martyrs in a revolution.
But ma'am, the facts have to be right… Hey, there's no right or wrong in India.
Right and wrong are immaterial in India.
Here, what's right is what's politically correct.
Something that won't hurt anyone's feelings, won't get the govt on you, and won't land you in court.
Ma'am, then what should I do? Hmm, do one thing.
Uh, show that, uh… Brahmin bodyguards killed her.
The bodyguards in your story, those two, they're Brahmins.
Uh, Brahmins? Ma'am, won't the Brahmins get upset?
Oh, why would they get upset? If they get upset, they'll be a bit upset.
These people speak up on social media and then quiet down.
They don't take to the streets. They're everyone's favorite punching bag.
We can take a few punches at them too. Ma'am, then should I remove the bodyguards?
Oh, why remove them? Show that some Mishra guy, some Sharma, some Dwivedi or Trivedi Brahmin, uh…
was unhappy with Indira Gandhi's pro-Dalit policy and went to kill her, while the two Sikh bodyguards were protecting Indira Gandhi.
There was a gunfight, and in it... both Sikh bodyguards were martyred.
And those two Brahmins... put all the blame on those Sikh bodyguards.
Yes, do that. That should work. Ma'am, this has turned into a complete mess.
Hey, what's the mess? It's safe. Pictures like this do great at the box office.
Make the changes I told you about... then let me know.
Okay, ma'am.
End of transcript · 368 words · machine translated
Original transcript (Hindi)
अ, Good evening, ma'am. मैं सोनाली, scriptwriter.
वो आपने film story narration के लिए बुलाया था।
हम्म, बैठो। बोलना start करो।
अ, ma'am, my film opens in 1984, जब PM इंदिरा गांधी की हत्या उन्हीं के दो Sikh bodyguards ने कर दी थी और इस खबर के फैल... Wait, wait.
क्या बोला? Sikh bodyguards? हाँ, ma'am. कुछ गलत बोला क्या?
गलत? बहुत गलत। ये सारा ही गलत है। ये नहीं दिखा सकते भाई।
You cannot bring religion here. अ, ma'am, but ये तो history है।
It's a historical fact. अरे, तेल लेने गई है history.
Picture बनाकर मुझे ban नहीं करवानी। Death threats मिलने लगेंगे यार मुझे।
हम picture बनाते हैं पैसा बनाने के लिए। ये क्रांति में शहीद होने के लिए नहीं बनानी है picture.
But ma'am, facts तो सही होने... अरे, सही गलत कुछ नहीं है India में।
सही गलत is immaterial in India. यहाँ वही सही है जो politically correct है।
जिससे किसी की भावनाएँ आहत ना हों, सरकार आपके पीछे ना पड़े और court के चक्कर ना लगाने पड़े।
Ma'am, फिर क्या करूँ? हम्म, एक काम करो। अ, ये दिखाओ कि अ, ब्राह्मण bodyguards ने मारा।
जो bodyguards थे तुम्हारी story के, वो दो, वो ब्राह्मण हैं।
अ, ब्राह्मण? Ma'am, ब्राह्मण नाराज़ नहीं होंगे क्या?
अरे, नाराज़ क्या है? नाराज़ होंगे तो हो जाएँगे थोड़े बहुत।
ये लोग social media पर बोलकर चुप हो जाते हैं।
सड़कों पे नहीं उतरते हैं ये लोग। ये सबका favorite punching bag है।
थोड़ा हम भी punch कर लेंगे। Ma'am, फिर मैं bodyguards को हटा दूँ?
अरे, हटाना क्या है? ये दिखाओ कि कोई फलाना मिश्रा, शर्मा, कोई द्विवेदी, त्रिवेदी ब्राह्मण अ, इंदिरा गांधी की pro-Dalit policy से नाखुश होकर उसे मारने गए थे और जो दो Sikh bodyguards थे, वो इंदिरा गांधी की रक्षा कर रहे थे।
Gun fighting हुई और उसमें वो दोनों Sikh bodyguards शहीद हो गए और जो वो दो ब्राह्मण थे, उन्होंने सारा blame डाल दिया उन Sikh bodyguards पे।
हाँ, ये कर लो। ये सही रहेगा। Ma'am, ये तो पूरी खिचड़ी पक गई है।
अरे, खिचड़ी क्या है? Safety है। खूब चलती है ऐसी pictureें box office पे।
तुम ये जो changes मैंने बताए हैं, वो करना और फिर मुझे बताना।
Okay, ma'am.
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