English transcript

What do I think about what?

- Ticketmaster. What do I think about Ticketmaster?

I like 'em. What's not to like about Ticketmaster?

- As a... as a purchaser?

- As a purchaser?

- Yeah. Yeah, you know you can not go to the

show. I always think like Ticketmaster always

get like given a hard time, people going, "Oh,

it was 400 pounds to see Taylor Swift." Well,

don't go. - We wanted to come see you!

- You wanted to come see me?

It looks like you did great. I mean...

I don't know, you might object to capitalism,

and Ticketmaster are a very good example of

the capitalist market. And capitalism is a terrible

system apart from all the fucking others. Bunch

of young people seem to have fallen in love

with communism again. The fuck is going... "Communism's

a great idea." Wrong species. Right?

Thing about capitalism is it kind of leans into

what we are. We're quite self-interested. It

works. What's your name?

- My name's Sam. - What do you do, Sam?

- Define communism for me. - Define communism?

- Yes. From each according to their abilities,

to each according to their needs. - Do you...

- Yeah. It just doesn't scale. Everyone is a

communist. All of you are communists with your

family. If you've got kids, you're a fucking

communist at home. Each according to their needs,

you take care of them. Of course you do. And

as things get wide in your local community,

you might be a socialist. Try and help everyone

out. And then you get up to nation-state level

and you go, "Yeah, fuck those guys." There's

always going to be an in-group preference. I'm

sorry, but you're human beings. Unlucky. The

problem with, uh, American communism, which

is, you know, "woke" is better described as

American Marxism. And what it is is instead

of trying to redistribute wealth, which is a

perfectly reasonable thing to want to do, they

want to redistribute status. And that is a recipe

for fucking madness. - Yeah!

- Hang on. Sorry. Some young men looking at

me like, "Yeah, great. We're gonna need some

dick jokes." No problem. I'm on it. Don't think

I'm not on it, fellas. I'm gonna say some very

offensive things in a bit.