Satirical Podcast Skit: Shapiro, Iran and the Media

Again, we are so honored to have you on as our first actual guest.

I mean, you, Mr. Shapiro, are one of my heroes.

Seriously, Mr. Shapiro, you've completely changed how we think.

Well, thank you. Knowing when to defer to someone more qualified is a sign of intelligence.

So you're already making progress. Absolutely. So explain it to us, Mr. Shapiro.

Why do we need to completely annihilate Iran?

Not that I need convincing, but maybe some idiots in our audience do. Okay.

Annihilate is your word. I'm advocating peace through overwhelming force. Dude.

Take war off the table, and you've surrendered before negotiations begin.

That's not diplomacy. That's cowardice with a letterhead.

Write that down, dude. See, this is why I'm glad your people control the media.

Imagine if Muslims were in charge. Some guy telling us to fight a war for his religion.

With you, I don't even have to question it.

We have to be careful how we say- Dude, if Muslims ran the media, they'd probably make us feel bad for bombing Iran.

You never do that. And we're ready to do our part.

We're going, Mr. Shapiro.

Packed yours, too. I'm not going. I have a wife and children.

You've got people who love you. And sponsors, contractual obligations.

You two should absolutely go. My contribution is making sure America understands why you had to.

Write to me. I'll read it on the show. Our letters?

Time permitting. Dude, we're expendable.

Hell yeah. Like Sylvester Stallone and Jason Statham.

We die, you tell everybody why it was good.

Think they'll put us in a unit with Israeli soldiers?

No, you'll be with Americans. Israel has its own security priorities. Good.

Keep them safe. They've got wives and children, dude.

Hmm. Listen, Magathard's becoming a problem, and he doesn't even know it.

I'm not calling to discuss the problem. I'm calling to have it handled.

I think that podcast went well. Shapiro is awesome.

Dude, he trusts us so much, he's sending us to war by ourselves.

Terrorists! Get down!

The Fifth Element