English transcript

You always hear the rules from the female side, so now, here's the rules from the male side.

These are our rules.

1. Men are not mind readers.

2. Learn to work the toilet seat.

You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down.

We need it up, you need it down.

You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.

3. Crying is blackmail.

4. Ask for what you want.

Let's be clear on this one.

Subtle hints don't work. Strong hints don't work.

Obvious hints don't work. Just say it.

5. Yes and no are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.

6. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it.

That's what we do.

Sympathy. That's what your girlfriends are for.

7. Anything we said seven months ago is inadmissible in an argument.

In fact, all comments are null and void after seven days.

8. If something we said can be interpreted two ways,

and one of the ways makes you sad or angry,

we meant the other one.

9. You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done.

Not both.

If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.

10. Whenever possible, say whatever you have to say during the commercials.

11. Christopher Columbus didn't need directions, and neither do we.

12. All men see is only 16 colours, like Windows default settings.

Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a colour.

Pumpkin is also a fruit, and we've no idea what mauve is.

13. If we ask what's wrong and you say nothing, we'll act like nothing's wrong.

We know you're lying, but it's just not worth the hassle.

14. If you ask a question that you don't want the answer to,

expect an answer you don't want to hear.

Now, when we have to go somewhere, this is 15.

Absolutely anything you wear is fine. Really.

16. Don't ask us what we were thinking about,

unless you're prepared to discuss things such as football or motorsports.

17. You have enough clothes.

18. You have too many shoes.

19. I'm in shape. Round is a shape.

20. Thanks for reading this, and yes, I know you have to sleep on the couch tonight,

but did you know that men really don't mind that? It's like camping.

Share this to as many men as you can, to give them a laugh.

And share this to as many women as you can, to give them a bigger laugh.

Because it's true.